Saturday, 7 May 2011

Run 48 May 7th 2011 Vennford Reservoir Shatnav and Zombie

A-B May 2011 – Hares Shat Nav & Zombie. Venford Reservoir, Dartmoor.


The day started with confusion over which car park to meet in.  Hashers were seen traversing the reservoir going to and fro the two car parks trying to make up their minds.  Eventually we settled on one and started to form a little huddle.  The hares were no-where to be seen, but then again, that wouldn’t be difficult, as the mist was so low we couldn’t see our hands if we stretched out our arms, so they could have been hiding just out of reach.


HIV decided to have a little look around to see if he could see flour, just to check we were in the right place.  No flour to be seen.  Also not surprising really, due to the fact that we’d had a HUGE downpour overnight.


Eventually the hares arrived out of the mist and a circle was called to order.  Man Pig eventually remembered what number hash we were on, Virgin hasher Happy Shopper from Plympton was introduced, Sierra Delta was nominated RA for the day and Paperwork was volunteered to write the words as his name has something to do with paper and work.  However, since paperwork is infact totally illiterate, it falls upon me, Sorepoint, to do the scribing.


The hares wish us luck, as they took 5 hours laying the trail yesterday, but due to the aforementioned hurricane there was little, if any, flour left out there.  We were told the on was over the bridge in the other car park!  Doh!  We were there already, but Shat Nav thought the other car park would be too busy for us all to fit in.  So over we go.  Still no flour.  A cuckoo calls, as if mocking us, or trying to tell us the way.  We keep looking.  The hare craftily lays a few arrows and off we go following a little leat in the moor.  Hold on a minute, says Shat Nav, we shouldn’t have gone this far.  It’s over to the left a bit.  We all start to climb the incline to the left, spread out looking for flour.  The mist has dropped again, and even the marine, Strongbow, is beginning to think we should abandon this orienteering exercise and get off the moor before we all get eaten by sabre toothed tigers or something.  The hare is having none of this namby pambyness and eureka – eventually finds the track we should have been on.  HIV is moaning by this point that he wishes he’d put his shorts on as the sun makes a brief appearance.


We make it as far as a river crossing.  The river is in full spate after all the tornadoes but we bravely attempt the stepping stones.  This causes certain hashers more trouble than others, doesn’t it She’s Ready?  Obviously not ready for stepping stones!  Hairy Mollusc and Shat Nav help things along by getting in the water and splashing She’s Ready – just to give her confidence that she won’t fall in and get wet.  The trail goes past a lovely little cottage and up onto the road.  I then realise where we are, as it’s just down the road from Pixies Holt where we stayed with City of Exeter Hash last year for their autumn gathering.  On down the road to a car park and Zombie is waiting with the first beer stop.  This shuts HIV up, as he is able to change into his shorts and happiness is restored.  The sun makes another appearance and we can actually see our toes.  Peanut has been carrying a jumper around with her all hash, and a discussion ensues about what is the most useless thing to take on a hash with you – answers on a postcard please – best answer we had at the regroup was That’s Crap!


Zombie sneaks away to live lay the next part of the trail, to try and avoid the complete lack of flour in the first third.  We finish scoffing sweeties and beer and the conversation dips yet further with That’s crap offering to service anyone with No Service.  Off we go again with Shat Nav taking the vehicle on to re-group 2.  Will he get there though; he’s called Shat Nav for a reason you know!


The trail leads up, up, up, up and more up.  We eventually scale Everest up to a lovely bowl shaped tor.  We naturally all sat down inside out of the wind and had an in-depth talk about letter boxing – there being just such an item hidden in the stones.  A full history and lecture was given and received before we realised that the weather was taking a nasty turn for the worse and we really ought to be getting going.  It took a while to find the blobs from here, but eventually the on was called and off we went again trying to stay in front of the weather.  We came across Shat Nav standing at a monument on the next hill – but where’s Zombie?  Good question.  By this time the mist was around our ankles again and Zombie was lost in action.  A bit further on, and lots of shouting, Zombie was found cutting her way out of the pea soup.  Now though the hares had an important discussion on what way we needed to go, as they were now both lost!  Zombie had been able to see where she was heading before the clouds came down, and Shat Nav couldn’t remember which direction he’d left the car.  Cuckoo, cuckoo.  Had we just gone in a massive circle, or was the cuckoo just mocking us?  We found the road.  More by luck than judgement, and Shat Nav drove off in one direction, as we all ran off in another. 


Regroup number two was successfully found, and this time Shat Nav slipped away to do the live haring.  Clever old That’s Crap was watching which way he went, so when we all set off we followed That’s Crap’s advice.  The faster ones get away and leave Mavis, Peanut, Cow Pat and myself behind.  There’s a Bull in this field, and Mavis is a little nervous.  We ended up doing a little detour to avoid him, as he was looking a little amorous and we were all wearing various shades of red!  Picked up the trail again across the moor and found ourselves on another road where everyone was waiting at a hash halt.  A little conflab was had, about whether or not we attempt the long/short split from this point. It was decided to abandon the long, as the hares had got a little lost laying it in the sunshine the day before, so we had absolutely no hope today – so everyone proceeded along the short, down the road and into Widecombe in the Moor.  The B was found to be the Old Inn at Widecombe.


An excellent 9 mile hash against all the odds.  Thank you hares.


Down downs were done immediately in the car park, as some of the hardy hashers wanted to do it all again in an hour’s time in honour of Sneezy.


Down Downs went to:

Hares – only counted 4 domestics during the course of the day.  And Shat Nav steadfastly continuing with trail even when a marine says he would give it up!

Strongbow – for getting lost on the way to the hash – bad navigation.

Mavis and Peanut – Sex on the hash (well – canoodleing anyway!)

Mavis and Sorepoint – discussing educational reforms – being far too intellectual.

Happy Shopper and Hairy Mollusc – for not mentioning their relationship at the start.  (father and son – before your minds run away with you!)

Sorepoint – lewd comments about gobbling while running past turkeys.