We arrived in the White Cross Car Park to a flustered Larks, not knowing if he was in the right place or not. The car park wasn’t the largest ever and what with a burnt out car taking up some of the space we had to be creative whilst missing tree stumps.
Circling up a little later than usual after waiting for TC and SR to arrive, instructions were given and I volunteered to scribe this month.
Off we went out of the car park along a muddy track, this was going to be a bit of a theme this month. Along we went until we found a bit of a swing. Lets have a play we thought. pic supplied. Then I thought, I recognise that yellow car - we’re back at the car park - is it a beer stop already? But no, off we went out of the car park again and over the road to continue the trail. Tenzing advised me as we ran past that three more hashers had arrived after the off - Flem and Hardon and one hasher he didn’t recognise, who could that be we wondered? We will have to wait and see.
More trail followed - I never know where I am, but Strava reckons I went through Sudbury at some point. Think this may be where we found Larks for the first time. Still no sign of the mystery hasher.
Off we go again, more up than down in my mind. On one of these downs we came upon some Alpacas being walked on a lead like a dog - well, why not I suppose.
We found Larks again on a grassy bit by the road and the shorts tucked in. No sign of the longs. Then, who was to appear, but BellToll - the mystery has been solved! He had gone long after a late start and not caught up in time for the first regroup, so went short second time round and found us.
Off we went again on another short loop and found Larks again. This was actually where the beer stop was supposed to be so the sneaky shorts had a third stop and a few more sweeties (I really shouldn’t have opened the cheddars at this point) and off we went again.
We found ourselves on Farway common, then on to a road for a bit of a run in to the Hare and Hounds. We had arrived!
Excellent run thanks hares, and an excellent pub to finish at. About a dozen of us stayed after the Down Downs to eat and it was really good food - recommended.
Down Downs went to:
DEVON A2B WORDS
Location . East Devon county council car park, Sudmouth..
I’m normally known for a 20000 word essay so keeping it a bit shorter so no one falls a sleep reading.
It was another beautiful hot day and around 25 hashers congregated at the East Devon County Council car park. Virgin A2b hasher from otter valley Microphone (sorry if I got the name wrong) quietly introduced herself and thanks from That’s crap were made to Larks vomit for his monthly assistance with the beer stops and 3d for helping with bag transport. It was then over to the hares.
It was a trail of 1 on with 5 long/short splits and a total of 3 beer stops and we’re in for a treat with some of the beautiful scenery. Which also meant lots of hills to see these beautiful views.
Off we went down the grass area and a loop round to the main council building. We took an early river crossing in the park area which was somewhat refreshing for the feet. We then ended up running around some of street roads where we lost chewing gum as a check had been removed. The rest of us carried on for what felt like a long time in the heat to the first beer stop at salcombe Regis.
Everyone seemed to be enjoying the beer stop as we spent quite a while standing around chatting. This was when flour power brought it to my attention that they had been some talk about bottom smacking and the young hares. Never did quite get the full story even at the down down as our RA chewing gum was still missing in action.
We ended up on the south west coast path heading towards Weston where us back hasher came across some rid the faster ones enjoying a dip in the sea. Sorepoint and I took a paddle in the river section that was flowing down before enjoying another upward haul.
It wasn’t long before we were heading towards the beer stop and a few if us took the advantage of a given shirt cut. Although the path seemed to keep going and going. We reached the second beer stop and it was then that twiggy started to worry were her other half was. With a bit of technology on the hash we knew he wasn’t with 3D who had already made his way to a beer garden and was sat enjoying a cider. Just as we were all about to set off on the next leg chewing gum made an appearance. Supplies taken from the beer stop and off he went.
The next part took us in and through the donkey sanctuary but no time to stop for an ice cream. We then completed a figure if 8 and had our 3rd beer stop at the first place which then made sense to a hash Mark we saw earlier on the trail. Back off up another hill and made our way into Sudmouth where again a few took the opportunity to have a dip in the sea.
Off to the on down and the down down went to the below:
HIV for refusing a hug from twiggy who had enjoyed a dip in the sea
Ej for chatting to a walker whilst on route.
Paperwork for scaverging off the un eaten food in the pub left by others
Chewing gum getting lost
Snowy for losing his flour container from laying the trail.
Great trail about 10 5 for shorts and 15 for the kings
On on Double D
Next trail 05/08/17 from White Cross c/p, East Hill, Ottery St Mary (SY115924) c/o Tenzig and Brushoff
Hares are still needed for 2nd December.
June A2B Soapy brilliantly retells the events in rhyme
Joint with Gispert Gallop at a little place near Merton.
Outside Great Potheridge House we met and circled in the sun
10 years ago Cathusalem said the A to B begun.
Long short splits, one blob and on and all in flour it’s lain.
13 miles the longest and 9.9 the shorter,
Larks was thanked for organizing sweet stop, beer and water.
Ready to leave, as Odd Bitz stood with trousers round his feet
A poor excuse he made up “rubbing muscles with Deep Heat”!
At last we set off up the lane, front runners sped off quick,
four dogs on leads and even had a seagull on a stick!
then muddy lane joined Tarka Trail (Tarka was an otter).
Whisperer panting up the road, dogs barking by a gate
followed Clouseau and Skippy - catching up ‘cos they were late!
The longs split off to add a mile and around a field they trotted,
“That’s way too far for me” I thought, as S on ground I spotted.
with Jelly Babies, nuts and crisps, Tear Arse and Rise n Shine.
With tired legs we gathered round, at last the longs arrive
we stuffed our faces, quenched our thirsts enough to keep alive.
didn’t have much time to look as carefully watching feet
making sure we didn’t stumble on mud or stones and roots
you’d have to be a farmer to recognise those shoots!
So, I’m Only Here For the Beer educated Slip On Me,
whilst strolling through a meadow saw an orchid like a bee.
but by mistake someone took Short – Bell Toll, what a berk!
Whisperer was close behind and Buzby up front because……
after losing so much weight s’only half the man he was!
this time Larks was parked in layby, serving goodies from his car.
Revived enough to run again – along a path we raced
it started raining so good job we had our macs around our waists.
11 lonely miles he trudged, along the Tarka track.
Bobby and Dozy couldn’t be arsed to check where trail went,
and Piltdown n Georgie missed the run, (as shagging in their tent!)
they emerged an hour later to find that we had left,
walked straight to pub avoiding trail, arriving all bereft.
up to the top of a long hill, where scenery was stunning.
At the top X-Bitz collapsed, got empathy from a few
Mavis sarcastically remarked “but it’s worth it for the view!”
with Dobby watching from behind, so U Bend took a snap!
A scary experience – tractor filled the road from edge to edge,
so Piddler squeezed himself in front which shoved me in the hedge!
probably filled with bugs and ticks - make sure you check for Lymes!
jumping ditches from side to side, quite wide in certain place,
so Lady Buoy just chucked her dog (you should have seen her face!)
fish hook and minimal flour blobs washed away by rain.
Steven Seagull looking droopy – so into him I blew ……
Hot Lips feeling ‘lucky’ announced he was poorly too!!!!
serving scrumpy cider at £1.50 was the best.
We circled up upon the lawn and RA’s gave out beers,
keeping notes of who done wrong - a number it appears!
I’m sure you will remember if one of them was you……… (‘cos I can’t)
A little problem then arose, how to get back to point A
as 54 knackered hashers horizontally on grass lay.
squeezing people into cars - too many for the suspension!
Sore Point scraped her bottom……(that’s the bottom of her car)
and Bell Toll on returning couldn’t shift HT2 from bar!
feeling hot and sweaty the rest showered in the house.
A great day out was had by all, so huge thank you from uz……
on our 10 year celebration (Oh and Happy Birthday Buz!)
The third leg seem to be relatively short compared to the first two and before long we were back at Cornworthy and heading to The Hunters Inn. I calculated that the shorts were approximately 9 Miles and I was told that the longs were just under 11 miles. An excellent hash finished, I settle in the pub for a nice glass of lemonade. The down downs commence and the following culprits drink, with the exception of me as I nominate Double D to drink my down down for 2 very good reasons, firstly I was driving but more importantly she doesn’t like ale!:
A – Cheriton Bishop
B – Fingle Bridge Inn
Words for 04th February Ivybridge run.
Devon A2B December Trail 2016
Devon A2B 5th November 2016 PDF with Pictures
From a carpark in the middle of nowhere, to Moorlands Hotel, Wotter (NE of Plymouth, on the edge of Dartmoor). Hares: Gymslip & Legover; 20 hounds, a couple of dogs and Larks Vomit supplying dray as usual.
What a glorious day! Crisp, dry, sunny, a bit chilly, but for November, it was perfect. After the usual coercing of scribe and RA, introductions and information (a smidge under 10 for the shorts, 15 for the longs, might not be any flour left on the first 2 legs as it rained overnight) we were sent off in the direction of a short near vertical uphill scramble across the road from the carpark. Not long after we were back down again, across the road, and peering around for very washed out remnants of flour and keeping our eyes on the hare for clues about the general direction. We followed a stream for quite a while along a potentially ankle twisting/breaking non-path, then eventually across it, through a stone circle and up onto the moor. A hastily re-marked check (plenty more of those were to come) had us searching in various directions until eventually we were called on, in the general direction of somewhere between Sheepstor and Leather Tor.
I don’t know Dartmoor very well, living on the East Devon/Somerset border, but Sheepstor looked familiar to me, and on further investigation I discovered that it was where a bunch of us from Taunton Hash spent the night wild camping (no tents) in summer 2016 on a weekend hike. The night sky and shooting stars were amazing.
Burrator Reservoir was very low (according to Cousteau that’s because the tide was out), and the longs arrived at the first regroup before the shorts, so for once we got first pick of the sweets and refreshments. However, it also meant that we waited the longest and got coldest before setting off again! Double D, Sorepoint and Rise ‘n’ Shine mislaid the trail somewhere in the woods and arrived at the regroup after the rest of the pack had moved on, after adding an extra mile or so to their route. Not only did they find the hot chocolate, but Larks also kindly gave them a lift to a suitable rendezvous so that they didn’t have to spend the rest of the day trying to catch up. What a gentleman.
The 2nd leg started much as the first had done, ie up a near vertical incline before the long-short split. Cora must be feeling fitter than usual as she did the second leg with TC, and didn’t try wriggling out of her harness this time. Longs were sent along another stream, through some woods, past some ponies, up onto open moor and in more or less a big left hand sweep to Meavy.
Through the churchyard, down the hill, across another stream, and back up the other side into some fields and more woods. Whisperer, Cousteau and Harry were last seen heading off in the wrong direction, leaving Bell Toll, Twiggy, Paperwork and That’s Crap sticking close to Gymslip when the flour wasn’t visible. We caught up with the shorts just before the 2nd regroup, where Whisperer, Cousteau and Harry had already arrived, having not gone wrong after all, just fast.
Excellent river crossings – all either narrow enough to jump over or with stepping stones, so although not everyone managed it, many of us kept our feet dry.
Many thanks to the hares and to Larks for keeping us going with the usual excellent array of drinks and snacks.
On on! Twiggy
1. Hares – Gymslip & Legover
2. Water themed nominations:
Tear Ass for crossing the first river on the stepping stones and then falling in at the end – Wet Ass
Cousteau for "tide’s out" comment
She’s Ready got the down down.
3. Double D, Rise’n’Shine and Sorepoint for losing themselves in the woods – Sorepoint took the punishment.
4. Madam Cyn fell over after getting her foot stuck in a hole and then stumbled over a fallen tree trunk. Catflap was the sinner for ignoring his wife’s predicament and running right past. Chivalry is dead!
Blackdown Beast details
£10 entry fee, in aid of MacMillan Cancer Support. It’s a bit like a hash with pasty/pub stops along the way.
Great atmosphere and well organised by Honiton Running Club.
Details and online entries at http://www.honitonrc.com/blackdown-beast-jan.html
VENUE: the Monks Retreat, Broadhempston
HARES: Big Foot, McFee, Rise & Shine & Shortie,
We were directed to the village hall car park where there was ample space for us and we were told that there was no need to carry our bags to the transport car as point B was not far from point A!! In fact point B was the same as point A and throughout the trail we were never more than 2 miles from the pub. We were told we could also see the church most of the way around, a fact that one of the hares, Mc Fee took seriously whilst she was helping set the run because at one stage she couldn’t see the church for a mile or so and she was getting decidedly worried.
The nominations were:
A short AGM followed with the following awards:
Hasher of the Year – Double D
Dray Person of the Year – Larks Vomit
Pillock of the Year – Whisperer
Best Down Down – That’s Crap
Wettest Trail – That’s Crap and She’s Ready
Shiggiest Trail – Paperwork and Sore Point
Scenic Trail – Mouthful and No but
Scribe of the Year – Bilko
RA of the Year – That’s Crap
Best OnDown – That’s Crap and She’s Ready (Ship Inn)
Ashburton Away Weekend 02/09/16-04/09/16
Bracken Tor, Oakhampton
This was our first away weekend with Ashburton and it certainly won't be our last. It was jam packed with lots of red dresses, sacking the chef, the A2B, rain, beer stops, more rain, fancy dress, games and the hang over hash. This was a day to late for some, not naming any names Gromit.
Friday- Hasher's turned up in dribs and drabs from about 4pm, with the hares for the A2B , No Butt and Mouthful having already out and about laying for the following days trail but one person who had the beer, cider, food, oh and the trail for the red dress hash had yet to be seen. Boggy. Panic was starting to set in for the No Butt as it was approaching tea time and the red dress trail was due to start at 7pm. Luckily Hasher's being Hasher's and these being nice people, 3D and Paperwork got some flour and set about completing a trail for the red dress hash.
After food it was circle up time, many looking fetching in their red dresses, I think a few of the children looked a bit disturbed by a couple of the outfits, mainly That’s Crap. The hares advised that the hash started from the flag at the end if the drive and it had run over some of the trail for the A2B yet many started off and decided to check at a marking prior to the flag, it's great to see people listen to instructions.
We made our way along the trail while some walked straight down the main road to town. 3D the kids and I stopped for one drink as previous lack of sleep was catching up with us all and knowing the hill coming down opted for a taxi back up (it's great when you have kids cos you can use them as the excuse to be lazy). We slowly had small groups head back up to the hostel out of breath from the climb up the hill muttering that they wish they got taxis. Most got back at a reasonable hour unlike gromit and those that had to help him get to bed.
Saturday- The Chefs get sacked…..
Breakfast had all been arranged Boggy was buying the food and Strapo was cooking it Saturday morning, unfortunately Swampy got stuck at work on Friday and they weren't turning up til the Saturday. There were rumours that they were going to make it to start breakfast but at 8am Boggy took the task in hand with the help from others and prepped and cooked breakfast for 31. At one point I know No Butt had concerns that people running the A2B may get hungry as we wouldn't have time for lunch but that worry was far out the window as it was more brunch. As Strapo arrived just prior to breakfast being served he was sacked, and then shortly reinstated for Sunday's breakfast.
Gromit finally made it out of bed with a very dreary look about him was whisked off to Kay the last section of the trail with Mouthful.
Circle up time for the A2B at Bracken Tor youth hostel and with the 31 already there for the away weekend we had another 13 turn up just for the A2B. A great turn out and the weather was staying positive despite the forecast. No Butt being the only hare at point A sorted out her VIPs (the children), advised it was 3 on with 4 long short splits, any short cutters and VIPS to stay with her. As onon that way was called the rain started.
It all seems a bit of a blur to where we went as it kepted raining and I was watching my feet more than the scenery. The first shorts headed in to some woods where we appeared to be following a Pre organised race with orange coloured flags. We still checked for flour marks just incase. We met the first beer stop at the railway station which was where the VIPs caught the train to the next section. That's crap made a swift exit with an injury to B to enjoy the dry and the wetness of some beer. He has now been nicknamed uncle TC for looking after Runnerbean, least this time she wasn't sick on him.
Some of us shorts arrived before the longs and decided to take the next long and realised we had to now do the checking. Big mistake as Sorepoint, Bigfoot, Chewing Gum and I decided to take some if the previous night's trail and headed off to town where we bumped into Spotty Bott who appeared to be making up his own hash. He decided to leave us lost Hasher's and get up to the train station to meet No Butt and jump the next stage. Not sure that happened either. The lost ones decided to make our way back up to previous check where we spotted the longs and that was the last we saw of the longs as they shot off. We made it back on track which helped from fresh marks as Gromit and Mouthful had made it back and was remarking, we found the new marks and followed a footpath along a private road to the left of the castle and again from there i think we went into woods again and bridal paths and made it to the next beer stop, it was still raining.
The last section took us on the moor where the weather was really turning and the mist coming in. Sorepoint and I continued to follow the long at this point as we could see a couple of Hasher's and a hare on the long, great we thought, we won't get lost with the hare until he said I didn't lay this bit Gromit did and we lost each other earlier. Oh we thought,maybe the short would have been the better option. We started to lose the trail when we saw gromit, great he knows where he's going, not fully the case. We started to make our way down of the tor to see mint and chewing gum (good combination) running back along the top in the opposite direction, after shouting them brown they said they had been to the trig point but couldn't see any more flour other than that on the trig, the hares looked at each other and went, we haven't been up to the tor and there shouldn't have been four up there. Good job we spotted them.
Once at the bottom and on the no 27 cycle path we asked gromit how much further, not far just a little way up this road what felt like 2miles later, oh wait it was 2miles later we made it to B, oh and it was still raining until the last person made it back to the pub and it stopped.
Down downs went to:
That's Crap for his child minding duties
Spotty bit for getting lost, not only once but twice, he didn't make the train either and blue toothing his music on Friday night to then walk out the room with his phone.
Gromit for being needing to be out to bed the first night
Paperwork for irritating twiggy on the minibus and for trying to juggle badly with pool balls and dropping them on the wooden floor whilst some were suffering with hang overs.
Boggy for breakfast and for then heading to Plymouth to watch the footy.
Poacher for his birthday the following week.
Game Bird - one drink then bed on Friday night
Cheesy Chips for having no trainers to hash in and blaming others for lack if them.
Tadpole for wearing a size 22 dress on the red dress hash, bearing mind he could probably get into a size 8.
Gromit announced on Friday night circle up 7:45 to 6 people and wondered how many he missed.
Dick Sack offering his room mates breakfast in bed.
3D luring That's Crap in to babysitting duties by offering to drive him around and buy him a pint.
Big Foot for moaning the trail was over the 15 mile limit but added he did get lost.
The hares No Butt and Mouthful.
It was then a night of spooky fancy dress , games and drinking and singing. Guzunder had arrange a treasure hunt where our kids deserted us for the youngsters, we had to wrap the hasher to make a mummy, first team to wrap their hasher with 2 toilet rolls won, guess the missing hasher and guess the food in the jelly. A great way to start the evening and signing and dancing til the very early hours.
Sunday, breakfast slightly more calmer, all ready and waiting for us all and then panic hit that the gluten free sausages hadn't been cooked, sacked again strapo.
Joint hang over hash with city of Exeter, I've had enough if typing and can imagine your bored reading so see city if exeter for the hash write up.
Thanks to all involved to make it a great weekend and we'll done No Butt who organised it all.
On on Double D
To view Twiggy's words with all pictures download the PDF HERE -Well worth it !
Parke NT carpark, Bovey Tracey, On Inn at The Palk Inn, Hennock.
Hares: Rear Ender, Forrest Stump (with Mitch) and Forrest Hump (who appeared, as if by magic, part way through the run, with Mitch’s little sister, (Lola?)). Mitch and Lola are clearly distant cousins of Moth’s.
Virgins: Grim (Ashburton H3), TomTom (didn’t say where she was from), and Shit Name (Plympton H3), Mitch (see above)
RA: She’s Ready
It was a hot and sunny day, and after the briefing: "flat, short, no views," (believe that and you’ll believe anything) "and four regroups" (not so short then), we set off from Parke NT carpark (50m/164ft asl), with the longs setting off uphill through fields, whilst the shorts took the presumably flatter/downhill route. A check in the middle of a field was missed by some, but picked up by the back markers, and the route then took us off to the right and down through the woods. We were soon onto a disused railway line (thank you, Mr Beeching) for a nice shady jog, heading west. However, this was the only flattish bit of ground for the next 15 or so miles.
The first regroup was after only 2.6 miles. Clearly the first leg and early beer stop were engineered to help lull us all into a false sense of security.
The shorts were then ushered off by Rear Ender, whose parting shot to the longs was that Whisperer knew the area, so we should be OK, just in case the flour/sawdust was a bit sparse. All very well, but it transpired that although Whisperer did know the area, he didn’t know where we were going, so that was no use at all! That’s Crap dragged Lark’s dog off for the second leg but she was having none of it, wriggled out of her harness and ran back down to the car, with TC in hot pursuit after said recalcitrant dog. After returning harness and lead, TC then returned alone. He should have known better, as Lark’s dog only ever does one leg. Meanwhile, the rest of us were heading uphill, veering round to the left, when someone asked if anyone had seen any flour/sawdust recently. Er… no. Note to hares – sawdust in dappled woodland is about as visible as flour in a bakery! Flour in dappled woodland is much easier to spot. Much milling around, checking various options, and then retracing steps to find we should have gone off to the right about ¼ mile back. Back on trail, along the side of a stream, where Brush Off failed to brush off a dog that decided to taste his blood, and whose owners gave Brush Off the brush off when he told them that their dog had just bitten him. Over a little bridge where a sign told us we were in Bovey Valley Woods. The OS map calles it Lustleigh Cleave and the contour lines are almost touching each other. Only the ignorant, insane or sado-masochistic would consider it. You can choose which category our hares should be in. The path went up… and up… and up… and up… and up… and up… and up… and up… and each time we thought we could see the top of it, it went up some more, with distant cries from the front runners of "On on" becoming ever fainter. Eventually at the top, but no respite, as it then went down… and down… and down… and down… and down… and down… and down, and you couldn’t go much faster than on the uphill unless you were a mountain goat (or Cousteau) because it was treacherous with roots, stones, holes, etc. Long steep ups and downs repeated several times to greater or lesser extent, until eventually staggering
(well, I was staggering) out onto open moorland with a fabulous 360⁰ view of most of Dartmoor and beyond to the south coast.
Through a little gate by Hunters Tor, the only way now was downhill through the bracken and brambles, past some farm buildings, along a long farm track (past a field of happy looking pigs and piglets) and right (north east) onto a lane. Whisperer, who had been well out ahead of me, along with most of the others, suddenly appeared from behind, somewhat sheepishly admitting that local knowledge isn’t always a helpful thing! This happened several more times as the run progressed. We then had a long downhill from Barne Cross on tarmac to the A382, to Regroup no 2 at Wray Barton (155m/508ft asl). This was a temperance stop, so no beer and minimal snacks, but most welcome nonetheless.
Having been the rear ender of Rear Ender’s long trail for most of the way, no sooner had Moth and I gulped some water and a few crisps, than we were off again.
At this point I stopped taking notes, and concentrated on not losing sight of whoever was in front of me (Roadkill, mostly). Leg three was more of the same – something of a blur of pain and hills, a mixture of woods and lanes, up, down, up, down, up. Mostly up. Looking at the map and piecing sections together as I’m writing, I’m assuming we went through Wray Cleave and Pepperdon Down.
3rd regroup – no bananas left! Malt loaf stopped the gap and the longs set off again along the side of a field to Blackingstone Rock…. which we all climbed of course. More stunning views, SSW to Hay Tor, and just as far to whatever there is in the other directions! More moor and lovely Dartmoor countryside, mostly.
Moth managed the perilously steep and shallow steps down the rock without going a*** over t** (a distinct possibility for a dog unable to go down backwards) and then us back markers followed Forrests Stump and Hump through more bracken and along a wiggly route through a pine wood (Laployd Plantation?) coming out onto another lane. The front runners had already sped on ahead, missing the check that had been rubbed/blown out, and having to be called back for a sharp right turn through a hedge and into more woods, along an unmarked/private path (I think this was through Clampitt Plantation). At least this meant that we actually saw the front runners again briefly!
I can’t remember the next bit too clearly, but it must have been mainly downhill because we came to Kennick Reservoir. Off to the left on a grassy path along the side of Tottiford Reservoir (which was actually Tottiford Swamp, because it was empty), where Roadkill and I hopefully said to the hares, "Presumably we’re quite close to the next regroup now, aren’t we?". The reply was less than encouraging. "Er.. erm….ahem… not really". But at least it was flat or downhill most of the way from there to the last regroup (165m/541ft asl), where Moth found the stream very welcome to cool down in and have a drink.
Most people had already been through, so Roadkill, Meavy Maid and I gave up on the long and took the short for the last leg. Not another steep one?! The contour lines for Greatrock Copse are, if possible, even closer together than in Lustleigh Cleave. Surmising that the hares, in a previous life, were all members of the Spanish Inquisition and were master torturers, we struggled on, up and then down again through the woods, across a lane, up through more woods where someone had rather oddly fixed their TV aerial to the side of a tree (perhaps this was for the delightfully named Twizzle Tree Cottage), through some fields (we’d caught up with some of the shorts by now) and finally down into Hennock, to The Palk Arms, which was friendly and welcoming, and even provided the down downs for free.
Thanks to the hares for a very scenic A2B on a lovely day with some stunning views.
Reminder from the GM:
A2Bs should be about 15 miles for the longs, and 10miles for the shorts, with two regroups/beer stops.
Hares: Rear Ender, Forrest Stump & Forrest Hump. FS not drinking so allocated ???? to take his down down
Fallers: Big Bird spreadeagled, Road Kill face planted and Paperwork broke a gate – Paperwork took the punishment (a bit too eagerly!)
Dogs: That’s Crap chasing Lark’s dog, Brush Off poisoning an innocent hungry dog, can’t remember the 3rd one – TC had the down down
Driving incident: FS rumbled – he was fined for speeding when driving RE’s car
3 hares, 2 dogs, 1 dislocated thumb (Forrest Hump was a faller); 29 hounds, 3 dogs
73½ tired legs (Cousteau is bionic and never appears to tire)
Short route was a long route at about 14.5 miles
Long route was a longer route at about 18 miles
Two top tips: 1. Hares - use self-raising flour mixed with salt.
A Taunton hasher, clearly with nothing better to do, recently did a very scientific trial in his garden and found that self-raising lasts longer than plain. If you also add some salt (I use about 2-3 tablespoons per large/4 pint milk bottle) – that definitely deters the slugs!
2. If your big toes regularly wear through the uppers of your running shoes, darn the hole with dental floss.
Words -06/06/2016 Run 109 Hares - Sorepoint and Paperwork
A big thank you to the organisers, helpers and hares of the joint Gispert & A to B Hash Weekend.
Great beer stops along the way, many thanks to Larks and Troughie.
Dobby, Phlegm and Hard On for being virgin A2B’ers
Twiggy for some misdemeanour
Whisperer for attempting to cut oranges with the blunt side of a knife
Woof Woof for drinking cider and claiming it was water
Moonflower for having the wrong bra on and telling people!
Paperwork for running up one of the steepest hills ever—twice!
Brush Off for falling over whilst using a phone!
Carthusalem for visiting and leading us in singing before the down downs.
Words -05/03/2016 Run 106 Hares - Brush Off, Road Kill and Tenzing
- Double D was awarded a down down for having a little accident in her pants. The brown smudge was shown to the entire pub.
- Whisperer was awarded a down down for shouting once.
- Gaffer was given a down down for his cow phobia. This apparently why he doesn't like his wife too much.
- A virgin was given a down down for making the mistake of joining the only hash house harrier for the criminally insane.
- She’s Ready and That’s Crap were awarded a down down for doing such a good job of being hares.
- Hugo was awarded a coke for his Birthday.
- I was awarded a coke for making the amateur mistake of forgetting spare boxers.
Devon A to B – Run 104 set on 2.1.16.Hare – Moonflower and Bill (Moonflower’s son - a virgin hare)Hounds – 34 hardy individuals from all over the place including Leicester.Dray Operators – Many thanks to HIV and another Bill (husband of hasher and virgin dray operator!) Special mention and thanks also here for delicious Guinness cake from Readycrap household.Start – Postbridge Car Park (middle of Dartmoor).Forgoing my New Year pedicure I headed to the middle of the Dartmoor to join 33 other hashers for a toe curling, squidgy, mud splattering hash but I was wearing my Sealskins so my toes stayed pretty and pink! The Met Office had forecasted dire warnings of rain and gales starting at 1pm! However they were wrong. It started dry-ish with blue sky in the distance, but rain and wind did arrive later.I am guessing all of us really appreciated the effort that the hares must have put in to lay the trail in appalling weather the day before and then re-lay sections from 8am that morning as well as the flour had washed away over night. That’s Crap introduced several new A-B Hashers, then Moonflower gave instructions “7 miles short, 12 on long” “mind the river crossing” “waist high” “Bill slipped over 6 times laying that section” “bit muddy underfoot” “one and on” ……. And we were off.Tales from the trails – It was very, very wet on Dartmoor, paths had turned into streams and boggy bits were deep. I heard several hashers on the ‘long’ did not wade thigh high in freezing cold water but squeezed along the side. Dave (Sorcerer’s Apprentice) came in first on the second ‘long’ leg because he was so slow he managed to avoid Moonflower’s misdirections and call backs. Warren House Inn was the welcome ‘B ’ and That’s Crap was the first one in there or so he said … no idea if true or not as short routers and long routers ran the same last section and I was near the back. Squash Balls –left his bag in Moonflower’s van so will have to go hashing on Sunday for Moonflower to return his (or her?) washed and ironed running gear!!!!Down Downs–Grasshopper could be renamed ‘Flip Flopper’ as his shoes disintegrated even after being carefully taped.Chris (from Leicester) for whining so much so was named ‘Humpy’ however he was my hero on that barb wire fence short cut and I was glad he did not have to put his medical training into practice.Moonflower X2 for setting the run, and then because she couldn’t remember her route, becoming a live hare half way through some sections on the Long Route.Sore Point – for a slip over and wet knickers just AFTER the boggy section.Meavy – who “liked going down on men!” on the hills.Pilgrims Faster- for a great maiden speech but also for pulling a ‘sicky’ to go on such a memorably wet hash …Am guessing all who attended may need pedicures now – mine is rebooked !!!!!!
Date 05/12/2015 A: Normandy Way, St BudeauxB: The FerryHouse Inn, Saltash PassageHares: Gymslip and LegoverThe Pack:BilkoCatflapGatecrasherHIVLarks(beermaster)MadamcynPaperworkPilgrimRisenShineShesreadySofarSorepointSwingerTeararseThatscrapVomit(Sorry if I missed anyone – just going from a very faded memory)What Went On-onThe wind was blowing a right hooley, particularly around Pilgrim’s goolies. Well he was wearing tiny shorts in December! In complete contrast, Swinger insisted on being fully clothed from head to toe right up to the off. HIV tried to get away with paying only £1 – how many A2Bs has he done?Despite there being clean respectable public toilets just 2 minutes’ walk away, many of the harriettes chose to go behind a bush. Sorepoint returned from her “toilet” with cuts on her hands, complaining about a prickly bush. Time for that bikini wax.As a ruse to keep warm, Pilgrim took on a local kid at football and was soon joined by That’s Crap and Coora the dog. It got very competitive but the dog and the 6 year old won.Bilko screeched around the corner and it was time for the off. The first check was just yards away and Madamcyn was not happy that the boys were taking far too long to find the trail when she had not had chance to warm up.Towards the toilets we went and over the bridge into Cornwall. The winds felt now up to gale force strength, making it hard work across the bridge. Then steep downhill to the river, where we went past more toilets. At one check, Teararse was confident she had chosen the right way until she learned the hares are tri-athletes and might well have us in the water. She’sready could not resist the 3rd set of toilets we had passed within 15 minutes of the start (thank you, hares). Then we went uphill and ventured around the China Fleet golf course. HIV was giving history lessons to anyone who would listen.Catflap picked up a couple of “lost balls”, then minutes later some golfers were scratching their heads looking for their balls.After about 1.5 hours, we eventually reached the 1st beer stop. The lovely Larks thoughtfully provided some very welcoming Hot Chocolate and Coffee. These complimented DD’s scrummy home-made biscuits. Thank you DD, they went down very well.Larks was busy flashing at everyone, but payed particular attention to Gymslip’s arse.I always thought Cornwall was behind the times, but I saw Father Christmas passing by on the back of a motorbike.The pack were now worried that a. we would need torches and b. would not finish the hash before the start of the evening’s comedy show.Luckily the hares had been kind and the 2nd and 3rd legs were much shorter. Pilgrim kept bragging that being Cornish, he knew exactly where B was but still got every check wrong.Catflap dropped his balls and started talking in a much deeper voice.On the final leg, the trail took us down Fore Street which was closed to traffic for Saltash’s Christmas lights party. There were bands playing and choirs singing, with the crowd cheering us on as we ran / staggered through. All it needed was some firemen waiting with their fully loaded hoses and it could have been the finish of the Grizzly!Then it was back over the very wind bridge to Devon and the very conveniently placed toilets (thank you hares), then downhill to B, which was just 5 minutes’ walk from the start.In typical hash fashion, we all got changed outside, making use of the table and benches. All except Gatecrasher, who smartly chose to change inside the pub (I assume she did this in the toilets and not the bar area).Vomit led the circle and gave down-downs to the following:Larks – taking photos of Gymslip’s bottomMadam Cyn –losing humour at 1st checkBilko – Peanut smugglingGatecrasher – hiding from the hashers when getting changedSorepoint – needing bikini waxCatflap – nicking and dropping his ballsPilgrim – beaten by 6 year old boy and dog at footballThe 4 stages of life:1. You believe in Santa Claus2. You don't believe in Santa Claus3. You dress up as Santa Claus4. You look like Santa ClausMerry Christmas and a Happy New Year.HASH: 7 Nov 2015VENUE: Dunkeswell to HonitonHARES: Sore Point & PaperworkAlthough That’s Crap called us to circle up most of us stayed huddled under the tree as it was still raining. He introduced us to some A2B virgins from Taunton & Bridgewater hashes. We were told that there was 2 beer stops and were introduced to a new type of mark – a circle with a dot in it. When we came upon these marks if we found a mark following that we would be on the long run, if we didn’t want to do this we were to wait for the hares who would show the shorts the correct way. On we started thru the streets of Dunkeswell before reaching the public footpaths and fields, by this time the rain had ceased and blue sky was spotted. The main theme of today’s run was water, mud & shiggy, small rivers running down thru fields, mud & shiggy just about everywhere else. We were warned about the bog from hell but even before we reached that, a killer bog claimed the life – well the knees anyway – of Swinger and Leg Over who were desperately trying not to leave their trainers behind deep in the shiggy. We had a few hashers disappearing for sometime during the run, firstly That’s Crap& She’s Ready and recently married Hot Lips was seen disappearing off with a virgin A2Ber along a different path despite shouts of on-on coming from the main pack. At the first beer stop Double D admitted it was easier to keep the kids quiet now they’ve got their tablets – no they weren’t being dosed up but had found a new game whereby they take photos of each other and then dress them up with make up and new hair styles.On the longs there were displays of spectacular recoveries from falls when Looser/Loose Screw tripped, did a controlled roll and were upright and running again without even missing a stride. Some hashers were joined in the fields by cows whilst others came face to face with a couple of Dobermans when they went down a wrong path. Countageous came a bit too close to a gorse bush when she popped behind one for a pee.As the hash was laid for the longs, the shorts were kept together, when they came to a check with a dot they had to wait for the hare to direct them, this worked fine until a few of the long runners decided to change and do the short and there were no marks for them to follow.Almost at the end Bilko & Countageous ran up and down the main street of Honiton 3 times before they found the pub – can’t believe those 2 would have had trouble in finding a pub, perhaps that was also the reason why She’s Ready was not back in the pub till the down downs had started – no definitely not, she has a nose like a bloodhound where pubs are concerned.The nominations were:Double D – for fondling Sore Point’s bum bagBelto – works for the met office and said it would be dry by 1pm – and it was!!Gym Slip – loves his new lightweight, fast, carbon road bike far too muchBecky – for running the last leg with can of cider in her hand – then nominated Adrian to drink her down downShes Ready – paid brother in law with a lovely homemade cake for doing her car, whilst That’s Crap had to cough up the cash but only got a thank you with some out of date doughnuts.We had a naming tonight - Andy who doesn’t really like shiggy and spent most of the trail tiptoeing around it (was that possible?) was called ShiggypuffNext month’s trail 5 Dec – Normandy Way, St Budeaux, Plymouth c/o Gym Slip (with his beloved bike?) & Leg Over.On-OnTHE WORDSRun 101 Joneys Cross - Hare Swinger
Never having read the words of an a2b thanks Man pig for volunteering ?!! me and Hot Lips your time will come!Already circled Man Pig began by introducing 4 newbys-Tenzing,Brushoff and Haggis,all from Bridgewater hash and Grasshopper from Otter Valley.Hare,Swinger (on her virgin lay for A2B) told us the shorts would be 12miles ish the longs 15 miles ish and an extra 2 for the brave or stupid depending on which way you were inclined to look at it.At this point Cathusalem ,stepped forward and reminded hashers ,in his founder member way, there should be a cut off point of 12 mile for the longs.Setting off we criss -crossed Woodbury Common following the East Devon Trail for a short while.Sore Point was complaining about the pain in her bum(surely not Paper Work,who had been spied immerging out of the bushes earlier!)saying if she lay one way in bed it was fine but not the other.The weather couldn't have been better and the views were stunning.Some 3.69 miles in the shorts arrived at the beer stop at Castle View car park .Brilliantly timed by Swinger the longs arrived shortly after.Dobby and Sore Point did their ham string exercises.Man Pig got dragged in by Kura and Fah So (or is it the other way round SoFah) legs had been shredded by the gorse.No red dress runs for uLeaving Larks to clear up we ran on. The shorts had been told their trail would be shorter but harder this we all promptly forgot.Ahead of us we could see the Marines out on manoeuvres and it was noticeable that the harrietts picked up their step! Sore Point and Cuntagous (not sure of spelling ) were discussing the marines not realising another group were beside them.Moving away from the attractions of Woodbury Common we headed on following farmland footpaths and passing head high fields of maize.Passing a field full of horses we were told that beyond this was Sir Walter Raleighs ' house .(The present owner non to keen on the tourist).Following the road we passed the statue of Sir Walter Raleigh and into East Budleigh2nd beer stop here in this sleepy village .I'm sure neighbour hood watch had a field day as Larks 3d Chipmonk and Runner Bean set up an array of sweeties and drinks A special thanks to the girls for their home made flapjack and granola cake very yummie.The girls had obviously got bored whilst we waited for Big Foot,Brush off, Shortie and Hole In One as they decided they would repeatedly press the horn on their car.Dad 3d non to impressed sent them off to the playing field.Eventually Big Foot and Brushoff appeared .They'd done an extra mile or so after talking to orienteers and looking at a map .Shortie and Hole In One had gone wrong on the commonAway we went not knowing what was before us AND just as well.On to Ladram Bay pass Little Peak and up Peak Hill and all the while Swinger was saying sorry guys and finally into Sidmouth..People were on the beach and in the sea enjoying this lovely October day.Legs creaking we changed and went off to the pub.R.A.-Cuntagous began by thanking Swinger for the trail,and the following were mentionedPaperwork -poo in the woodsCathusalem-got lost from bus to car parkSore Point /Cuntagous-where are the marines? behind you was the replyMan Pig -was asked why he was jingling and clinking whilst he ran did he have money in his pockets ? no he said it was his bollocks!Big Foot/Brushoff -lost on trailChipmonk /Runner Bean -beeping hornas some hashers had left to catch the bus down downs were awarded toCathusalem,Chipmonk,Runner Bean,Paperwork,Sore Point and Swinger for the above misdomeanerson on rise n shine xxso lovely to see Cathusalem back in the country( and he carried his flower all the way round x)Hash No 100Devon A2B Away Weekend 04/09/15 – 06/09/15, Yenworthy Lodge, Oare, LyntonFriday 4th September- Warm Up TrailHares- Thats Crap, Shes Ready, GHR & Come ToniteBy 5.30pm most hashers that were stopping for the whole weekend had arrived and settled in to their dorms. Shortie and Bigfoot were to arrive later after just getting back from America that morning (there’s commitment for you).6pm and we circled up for what was advised as a warm up hash and an idea of what was to come the following day. We were told by Thats crap that tea was going to be ready for 7.30 and we needed to get back in time for eating, we had the option if we were quick enough that a pub option had been included on this trail but dinner was going to be ready for 7.30 and we needed to get back, as soon as the pub was mentioned everyone was eager to set off.
We left the lodge heading up the driveway then turning left back down the side of the building, heading right up into the fields, running along with the sea and South Wales in our sights up and down the hills, everyone admiring the views as we went along.
Further along a track the hares realised that we were dropping behind schedule so She’s Ready suggested that she took the shorts and walkers on a short cut back to the lodge, those runners wanting to head to the pub for one carried along the trail only to find That’s Crap standing at the sign for the pub informing us that the pub was closed, so we trundled head between our legs up the first steep hill of the weekend. Arriving back just in time for our tea.
Shorts 3 milesLongs 4 miles
After chilli and rice and a delicious apple crumble with custard we headed into the class room for a game of “Hare Raiser” (a variant of Beetle Drive) which Captain Peacock won by 1 point to Retread.On completion of this game some of the men continued their competitive streak with some rather loud games of table football.Saturday 5th September – Hash #100Hares - Thats Crap, Shes Ready, GHR & Come ToniteThe morning after the night before and the 100th A2B circled up at 11am rather than the usual 12.30 still leaving time for those who were joining us that morning, Mcfee, who had been celebrating her birthday the night before, Alice, Strapo and Swampy who were stopping for the remainder of the weekend and Dimwit joining us just for the day.Nominated RA’s were Captain Peacock and Whisperer, Scribe Double D (thanks to Hotlips!).
We circled up in the same place as the previous night, in the car park of the lodge where That’s Crap advised that the trail was laid in flour and if we had come across any sawdust from the night before make sure we didn’t follow it, 2 dots and on, 3 beer stops and long/short splits available at each section. It would also become apparent later on that after the 1st beer stop if you were on the longs you had chance of even more beer stops.
The shorts had gone straight up the driveway of the lodge to take us on the reverse loop of the night before and the longs heading down the drive to head straight back up again. On the 2nd long/short split the hares could be heard arguing over who was going to follow the longs, funnily enough none of them were too keen and looked for excuses to stay with the shorts. This saw the longs head up and along a hill, to then come back down with the shorts again fighting their way through gorse and fern.
The last long /short split saw the longs head up the steepest incline at the point to what seemed miles from the shorts who followed through the valley to meet back up with the longs and the beer stop just 1 mile from our starting point, County Gate Car Park.
Down Downs awarded:
Hare of the Year: Bigfoot
Hasher of the Year: She’s Ready
Scribe of the Year: Double D
Pillock of the Year: That’s Crap
AGMHASH NO: 99 – 1 Aug 2015VENUE: Haldon Hash HQ, DenburyHARES: Big Foot, Shortie, Mc Fee, Rise'n'shineWell our first challenge was to navigate the narrow gate opening into the field where we were parking. That’s Crap relied on the eyes and voice of Big Foot as he carefully reversed his new motorhome between the granite gate posts – not a good idea as Big Foot wasn’t wearing his glasses. Vomit quickly threw into his car his small tent just before leaving home, thing was his daughter was the last to use it at some music event so whether there were enough or even any tent poles he would find out when he came to put it up later on that evening.Gathering round the circle Big Foot told us there were 3 beer stops, it was about 9 & 12 and plenty of opportunity for short or long cuts, there would also be a couple of regroups. A2B virgin Duckie aided by HIV volunteered to do the beer stops, That’s Crap was RA and Bilko nominated to do the words. With that we set off, immediately the longs and shorts split up with only 4 hashers doing the short. When we finally reached the first beer stop after at least 5 miles, the short runners discovered their good move, those long runners who were wearing shorts were covered in blood on their legs – namely Gym Slip & Vomit – and they were due to be modelling for men’s tights next week!! Mc Fee was already worn out and took a tumble going too fast downhill. The hares then encouraged us all to do the next short. They also told us that when we came to the next BS mark we were to ignore it as there would be no beer there.The next RG was conveniently placed within sight of a pub so Gymslip, That’s Crap, Whisperer, Bump & Grind, She’s Ready & Vomit decided that a 4th beer stop was well in order. A birthday cake was on offer at the next beer stop for 3D who was enjoying? his last run before officially being ‘over the hill’. We all eventually walked, crawled, staggered back to the end just as Big Foot saunters up in his car – he had been showing off his sprouts and polishing his pots all day.Back in the club house the nominations were:Big Foot – for telling us it was a 8&12 mile hash, he carefully measures his trails with a special bit of string so that his 8&12 ends up as 13&19, we reckon it’s elastic.Shortie – just as guilty as Big Foot, which is why she kept encouraging us to do the shorts.Mc Fee – for her dramatic fallDuckie – was able to use his new first aid kit to administer aid to Moonflower’s thigh.Gym Slip – not happy with the contents of the beer stop, decided to knock it all onto the floor.Big Foot (2) – too busy at the show with his veg getting prizes to worry about us doggedly trying to finish his trail.
We had a naming – Suzanne who was quite happy to have a harsh name - whilst on the run demolished part of a stone wall to prop open a gate – suggestions of Demolition Dyke, Stone-faced bitch were provided but we all decided upon Gatecrasher.How much gear can you get into one XTrail – all these bags, folding table, 3 eskys, rubbish bag and 3 people!!!Don’t forget 5 Sept 100th birthday run starts at 11am
Hash #98 Churston Ferrers Grammer School
Hares- Cow Pat & Meavy Maid
Support car- Jailer & Troughy
Beer masters- Chipmunk, Runnerbean & Double D
A beautiful sunny Independence day brought a large number of hashers out, some dressed for the occassion with Gymslip sporting what I think was a waistcoat with the American flag and Legover the matching skirt, Sorepoint and Paperwork wearing complete matching outfits in the colour of the American flag and Coldfront with a painted face (how it managed to stay on until the end I will never know).
Before the hares told the group about the trail two A2B vigins were introduced- Dim Wit & Flage-no-lay. The hares then ran through details of what was promised to be a PRETTY long hash and they werent wrong on either account.
The hares informed the raring pack that they were 3 long/short splits and would be approximately 8/9 miles for all the shorts and the longs distance was not confirmed. The first long/short split was explained as a pretty long long and short was a pretty long short.
The shorts arrived at the first beer stop which was kindly hosted at Hew n Cry and Rabbids house. It could not be missed as Chipmunk and Runnerbean were shouting out to the hashers they had reached the beer stop. The shorts had already clocked up at this point about 6miles. Twenty minutes later the longs arrived. They had taken a trip to berryhead and been caving.
Prior to the regroup a couple of people had be asked by NORMAL people why they were wearing red, white and ,blue. Some one should have told them to pay attention in history class or looked at a calendar.
Some took refuge in the shade while Bilko stripped off and got her baps out!
Off they plodding after devouring all the water, a quick refill at the house then off to the second beer stop.
The first ones back to this one was Flage no lay and 3d who opted for a lift for the last mile. They were soon followed by the remaining Hasher's to finish off all the goodies. I was starting to worry that Chipmunk and Runnerbean would have been extremely disappointed at this point as I had promised they could have treats at the end once all Hasher's had gone. Little did I know until the down downs that they had been nipping in behind my back and filling up. No wonder there was nothing left at the end.
The final leg took them back to the pub, just a mile down the road from where they had started. Down downs were awarded to the following...
Hares Cow Pat & Meavy maid
Troughy for drinking Gymslips pint
Flang no lay and dim wit for carrying their bag with them on the hash
Rear ended for slipping not only hurting her wrist but getting stung on her bum by stinging nettle
Whisper saying he is too fast but always at the back after a check
Bigfoot something about red bull energy drink being made of bulls urine
Runnerbean and Chipmunk for stealing sweets behind my back and then asking for sweets and finally me Double d for not noticing my children's actions.
On on to the next a2b McFee, Bigfoot, Shortie and Rise n shine
Scoots barn- Byo BBQ and Byo beer
Camping also available
Directions- head to Denbury centre, there is a monument in the centre head on east street about 200/300 yards there is a fork in the road on the left star cross. Past the barn on the right to the field on the right.
I have been told by rise n shine that she will try to place signs up to follow.
Also remember to get your forms and money in for the away weekend. 1st weekend in September to celebrate #100.
Words Devon A2B Hash - Dartmeet 11/04/15Hare - Hole in OneA fabulous day saw a good turnout of Hashers and Harriets to a beautiful location, thanks to Hole in One. After Sore Point ably stood in as GM (TC's nursing his knee following surgery, or is that She's Ready doing the nursing?), victimized Mouthful as RA, Legover as Scribe and welcomed Virgins Susannah, Minxy and Smellie, off we went to the first and only Long/Short split.Being the lazy ones Yeuck, Fallen Woman, Legover, Scouting 4 Boys, Madam Cyn and Cuntagious all set off on the short only to be called back as we were informed it was far too short for the likes of these amazing athletes. Yeuck and Fallen Woman ignored this advice and carried on until a lack of visible marks forced them to turn around and follow the pack.Meanwhile the front runners nimbly hopped over the stepping stones above the deep and fast flowing Dart leaving them perilously slippery for the less agile amongst us. Or was that just Smellie? By the time Scouting 4 Boys, Legover, Cuntagious and Madam Cyn finished a re-enactment of a Benny Hill sketch (Queue for river crossing, give up, run back down road over bridge, realise bridge over wrong river (clue is in name ladies, ie DartMEET), run back up road and back to river to be back at same point in queue) Smellie was still in the same place. Frozen with terror by the beautiful clean water flowing beneath her she finally gave up and adopted the backside approach to river crossing to a full round of applause from those behind her.This was not the end of the river tales as Fallen Woman lived up to her name not once but twice sampling the swimming delights at the stepping stones of doom. Double D and Lilo were also casualties as they wanted to join in the fun at the stones and both prefer to be wet.Finally moving more that a 100m from the start, the river casualties finally caught up to the pack who were wandering around aimlessly (allegedly checking/looking) on the moor and leading the more gullible astray along unmarked territory until the Hare finally took pity and gave us a flour arrow. This turned out to be quite a theme for the whole run as heavy rain overnight put paid to most of the trail.This led us to a re-group at a local beauty spot where worryingly Sore Point (Hash Cash) was heard to admit she couldn't count as the Hashers wouldn't stay still long enough. On to the first beer stop but not before most of the male hashers spent some time admiring the gazelle like running style of virgin Suzannah who was coerced into joining us when spotted doing the same at Februarys freezing A2B. Those not gazing at this feat of fitness were busy admiring the shortest of shorts sported by virgin Minxy.As always the beer stop was a welcome sight and the wonderful Larks Vomit did us proud. The guys all formed a disorderly queue to have the honour of accepting a drink from Virgin Suzannah. After more chatting up of the Virgins (guys - you know who you are) we set off again and sadly spent a large part of the rest of the trail on the road with beautiful moorland all around us. This didn't stop Madam Cyn managing to take a flying fall on the small section of bridle path we did find, but luckily hubby Catflap was on hand with his very own back pack full of who knows what to nurse her back to health.Paperwork meanwhile undertook a check and found no marks which caused a great deal of searching around and leading astray by the usual FRBs Gymslip, Vomit, Woggle, Gaffer etc while the rest of us enjoyed the rest and the sunshine. This was finally resolved by Holey after much consulting of her map and off we went again exactly where Paperwork said not - time for a trip to the opticians perhaps?Next obstacle were the cows. We had been warned by the hare at the start that there were a group of bullocks who were organised and dangerous. There they were - dozing peacefully beside the road. This didn't stop the harriets all clinging onto each other whispering instructions to go slow, no go fast, stay quiet, no shout at them by which time the bullocks were again getting organised and shuffling along the road in our wake. Terrifying! Well Cuntagious thought so anyway.Next Beer Stop was with a very convenient gorse bush for Harriet use. This was not good enough for She's Ready who had already taken advantage of some very nice cafe loos we happened to pass earlier. Minxy asked for a can of cider, offered it around and poured half into Scouting 4 Boys' cup and then continued to offer it around and wondered why she had none left to drink.Enter the Dragon (where was FU?) was shocked to find her driver Hotlips was so blind that he couldn't even see the Hashers in all their colourful glory running down the road in front of their car.Finally around 10 miles later we arrived at B - Postbridge.In the Pub follicularly challenged Paperwork and Vomit were making up for their lack of hair by sporting bandeaus with hair attached. In his disguise Vomit approached Cuntagious for a sideways snog and much to Vomit's surprise she was happy to swap tongues before checking to see who she was snogging.Nominations includedZeppelin for such lovely white hairMinxy for sitting down just 50yds from startSmellie for being first refuser it being Grand National dayHole in One for falling over while looking at the cows and also seen mooning at No EntryFRBS for generally leading everyone astrayLilo, Fallen Woman and Double D for being swimmersDown Downs were awarded toHole in OneSmellieDouble DON ON to MayWords for Devon A2B No92 January 2015Who needs words when we've got Rambo's colourful depiction of the event. Anyway I stuck my hand up to do the words so I don't have to do it again for years!We (me and Fallen Woman) arrived at the Buckfastleigh station car park to a sea of cars and not a soul in sight …. 'they're in the cafe' someone said through a slit of open window. Sure enough just inside the cafe a couple of groups of hashers stood nattering away until we couldn't put the inevitable off any longer.We trooped back over the footbridge to be called to order by Thats Crap in a most commanding voice. It seems ManPig has pushed off to sunnier climes and TC is standing in as GM …. any objections? Well if looks could kill, no one had the nerve to object and it was absolutely fine with all 28 of us.There were a few hares knocking about but the leader Hole-In-One gave the spiel.... 10.8 for Longs, 8.5 for Shorts and something for everyone …. shiggy,hills,sheep and in case we were starting to slow up we were to run through a shoot to speed us up. No bags needed, just £4 in yer pocket so once luggage had been stowed back in cars we were off.On-on through the station, up the road and over the A38 until we hit the vertical bridlepath. Well that sorted out the triathletes from the hashers, with no breath left for talking until we reached Five Ways. Took us ages to find the trail down to Pridhamsleigh and the next uphill bridlepath dodging flailing brambles. Woggle came off worse with lacerations to the front of his already minimal shorts so much so that when he stopped for a pee he sprinkled as he tinkled!On-on to beerstop; PaperWork and other strange types did the usual running backwards away from the BS before reappearing for refreshment ably produced by LarksVomit. Lovely spot by a des res (see Rambo's pics) with talk of Grizzly amongst the moans of aches and crakes. Hole-In-One was in touch with command control of the shoot to get the firing squad lined up ready … seems only the Longs were to experience this … perhaps the Shorts were deemed too easy prey being a bit slower (the reason might be blamed on excessive Christmas fayre). Mind you they must have got a wiggle on coz they had left the next BS before the provisions arrived.Hare No2 (named Number2) was having trouble with her directions from this point on and I'm not sure I saw honorary hare Zen for most of the day. Somehow we all traversed the land that is Riverford and reached the picturesque Staverton railway station. The arrivals board informed us this was PointB and we parted with our £4 to the station master. General milling about ensued til the train showed up ….( great bit of logistical planning by Hole-In-One). Contagious, LegOver and friend ran along the platform to enhance Rambo's shots of incoming steam engine.All aboard the train we trotted through the buffet to an comfy empty carriage and enjoyed the ride back to Buckfastleigh watching the swollen River Dart rushing by. Alighting at Bucks the guard eyed up these mud-splattered creatures and was heard to mutter about making a mess of his train …. so we legged it back to the car park for a swift change of clothes.Out in the freezing cold we formed the Circle. Fallen Woman was the RA of the day all togged up in her glad rags and lippy. No1 hare had a party to whizz of to so she was given a Down down ( in the absence of No2 & Zen who'd already disappeared to see a man about a horse).Drinks were also awarded toWoggle for prickly problem,Rambo for running around nearly naked,Gymslip for mega-moaning (worse than Piddler ... SH4's yardstick for moaning),PaperWork, WoofWoof and MeavyMaid for running against the flow when approaching beer stopsLarksVomit for sterling work,tangling with tractors etc to make the beer stops happen.On-on to On Down which was Abbey Inn for a dwindling crowd. The roaring log fire was immediately taken over by cool harriettes and that's about it til next time.Meavymaid