Words

DEVON A2B Words                                                 
HASH:   4 Nov 2017                                   
VENUE:  Fermoys Garden Centre, Ipplepen        
HARES:  McFee, No Style & Polecat  
We were directed to park away from the garden centre parking and go over near the Birds of Prey area.  Mc Fee told us the usual blurb and reminded us we had to be out of the car park by 5.30 otherwise we would be locked in.  A good gathering of hashers this month with 2 new virgin A2Bers – Scoop Hardlards from Haldon Hash.  Mavis volunteered to be RA Bilko volunteered to scribe.
We jogged thru the village of Ipplepen and then out onto bridlepaths.  About a couple of miles into the trail the shorts came upon a check and despite checking for quite a long way along each path we couldn’t find any marks, in fact Whisperer claims he did an extra 2 miles searching for the correct route.  One of the hares turned up but he hadn’t laid this bit so we were none the wiser.  We were thinking all was lost so went back to the check again and hurrah a hare had been thru and showed us the correct way. 

Paperwork was also having difficulties on the long run, he face dived into a bed of stinging nettles and at one point the longs couldn’t find the trail, this time it wasn’t a hare that rescued them but the shorts.

It must be getting near to Christmas because we had lots of goodies at the first beer stop, cashew nuts as well as our usual salted peanuts and lots of chocolate, unfortunately not enough choc for That’s Crap who turned up just as the last piece was being taken.  We lingered longer than normal at this beer stop, in fact when Paperwork came to move on, he tripped over as a bramble had twined itself around his leg. 
At the 2nd beer stop Larks very kindly left some goodies on the side of a fence so the 6 walkers wouldn’t miss out.
We passed Berry Pomeroy castle – reputably the most haunted castle in Devon, Mavis was studying the info board carefully but when we got closer we realised he was having a pee.  She’s Ready also needed a wee around this time and Woof Woof appeared from behind a bush looking sheepish.  Bilko and Gym Slip also need to go except these two chose the warm toilets by the entrance to the castle. 
At one point Mavis was walking whilst Woof Woof was jogging along beside him, from the back they looked like Laurel and Hardy.
Mavis was taking his RA duties seriously as he was bragging that he had a lot of dirt to dish out on some of the hashers, one hasher declared that at her age she would be glad of even the tiniest bit of dirt to be said about her.  Mind you when we got to the pub the nominations seemed to be lacking as was our RA who had offered to escort Dobby and Wellread, they had to go home early as still recovering from the night before.  Much more interesting to escort 2 lovely ladies home than do his duties as RA.  In fact it was noticed that his flies were undone before he even left the pub!! 
He finally returned and the nominations were:  
Paper Work – for his day of disasters
No Style – for sending us off on false trails
Scouting 4 Boys – who declined a free sample offered at the bar – which turned out to be beer.
There were a couple of others but they had already left.
For the first time in hashing history more water than beer was drunk at the down-downs (not including S4B obviously) 
On ON Bilko

 


 


 


















 August  2017

We arrived in the White Cross Car Park to a flustered Larks, not knowing if he was in the right place or not.  The car park wasn’t the largest ever and what with a burnt out car taking up some of the space we had to be creative whilst missing tree stumps. 
Circling up a little later than usual after waiting for TC and SR to arrive, instructions were given and I volunteered to scribe this month.
Off we went out of the car park along a muddy track, this was going to be a bit of a theme this month.  Along we went until we found a bit of a swing. Lets have a play we thought. pic supplied.  Then I thought, I recognise that yellow car - we’re back at the car park - is it a beer stop already?  But no, off we went out of the car park again and over the road to continue the trail.  Tenzing advised me as we ran past that three more hashers had arrived after the off - Flem and Hardon and one hasher he didn’t recognise, who could that be we wondered?  We will have to wait and see.

More trail followed - I never know where I am, but Strava reckons I went through Sudbury at some point.  Think this may be where we found Larks for the first time.  Still no sign of the mystery hasher.
Off we go again, more up than down in my mind.  On one of these downs we came upon some Alpacas being walked on a lead like a dog - well, why not I suppose.
We found Larks again on a grassy bit by the road and the shorts tucked in.  No sign of the longs.  Then, who was to appear, but BellToll - the mystery has been solved!  He had gone long after a late start and not caught up in time for the first regroup, so went short second time round and found us.
Off we went again on another short loop and found Larks again.  This was actually where the beer stop was supposed to be so the sneaky shorts had a third stop and a few more sweeties (I really shouldn’t have opened the cheddars at this point) and off we went again.
We found ourselves on Farway common, then on to a road for a bit of a run in to the Hare and Hounds.  We had arrived!
Excellent run thanks hares, and an excellent pub to finish at.  About a dozen of us stayed after the Down Downs to eat and it was really good food - recommended.

Down Downs went to:

The hares, Brushoff, Tenzing and Grasshopper
The Virgins: Paul and Tequila Sunset (apologies to Pink 2 Lips who should have been included here, but I know her so well I forgot she was a virgin!
Buzby: for visiting at the pub at the end, and not doing the trail

No Style - for missing a puddle

Flower Power - for not listening to the hares



Scouting and Hairy for listening but still getting it wrong!
 
OnOn till next month.


 


DEVON A2B WORDS
July 2017
 
Hares Causteau, Snowy, Hugo and Harry

Location . East Devon county council car park, Sudmouth..
I’m normally known for a 20000 word essay so keeping it a bit shorter so no one falls a sleep reading.

It was another beautiful hot day and around 25 hashers congregated at the East Devon County Council car park. Virgin A2b hasher from otter valley Microphone (sorry if I got the name wrong) quietly introduced herself and thanks from That’s crap were made to Larks vomit for his monthly assistance with the beer stops and 3d for helping with bag transport. It was then over to the hares.

It was a trail of 1 on with 5 long/short splits and a total of 3 beer stops and we’re in for a treat with some of the beautiful scenery. Which also meant lots of hills to see these beautiful views.


Off we went down the grass area and a loop round to the main council building. We took an early river crossing in the park area which was somewhat refreshing for the feet. We then ended up running around some of street roads where we lost chewing gum as a check had been removed. The rest of us carried on for what felt like a long time in the heat to the first beer stop at salcombe Regis.

Everyone seemed to be enjoying the beer stop as we spent quite a while standing around chatting. This was when flour power brought it to my attention that they had been some talk about bottom smacking and the young hares. Never did quite get the full story even at the down down as our RA chewing gum was still missing in action.

We ended up on the south west coast path heading towards Weston where us back hasher came across some rid the faster ones enjoying a dip in the sea. Sorepoint and I took a paddle in the river section that was flowing down before enjoying another upward haul.
It wasn’t long before we were heading towards the beer stop and a few if us took the advantage of a given shirt cut. Although the path seemed to keep going and going. We reached the second beer stop and it was then that twiggy started to worry were her other half was. With a bit of technology on the hash we knew he wasn’t with 3D who had already made his way to a beer garden and was sat enjoying a cider. Just as we were all about to set off on the next leg chewing gum made an appearance. Supplies taken from the beer stop and off he went.

The next part took us in and through the donkey sanctuary but no time to stop for an ice cream. We then completed a figure if 8 and had our 3rd beer stop at the first place which then made sense to a hash Mark we saw earlier on the trail. Back off up another hill and made our way into Sudmouth where again a few took the opportunity to have a dip in the sea.


Off to the on down and the down down went to the below:

The Hares

HIV for refusing a hug from twiggy who had enjoyed a dip in the sea

Ej for chatting to a walker whilst on route.

Paperwork for scaverging off the un eaten food in the pub left by others

Chewing gum getting lost

Snowy for losing his flour container from laying the trail.

Great trail about 10 5 for shorts and 15 for the kings

On on Double D
Next trail 05/08/17 from White Cross c/p, East Hill, Ottery St Mary (SY115924) c/o Tenzig and Brushoff

Hares are still needed for 2nd December.
 

June A2B Soapy brilliantly retells the events in rhyme

 
TEN YEARS A TO BEING
The A to B on 3rd of June, a good one we were certain
Joint with Gispert Gallop at a little place near Merton.
Outside Great Potheridge House we met and circled in the sun
10 years ago Cathusalem said the A to B begun.
The hares That’s Crap and She’s Ready proceeded to explain
Long short splits, one blob and on and all in flour it’s lain.
13 miles the longest and 9.9 the shorter,
Larks was thanked for organizing sweet stop, beer and water.

Ready to leave, as Odd Bitz stood with trousers round his feet
A poor excuse he made up “rubbing muscles with Deep Heat”!
At last we set off up the lane, front runners sped off quick,
four dogs on leads and even had a seagull on a stick! 
Through the yard of Speccott Farm, the weather getting hotter,
then muddy lane joined Tarka Trail (Tarka was an otter).
Whisperer panting up the road, dogs barking by a gate
followed Clouseau and Skippy - catching up ‘cos they were late!
The longs split off to add a mile and around a field they trotted,
“That’s way too far for me” I thought, as S on ground I spotted.
Then Larks was waiting in a drive ‘Barometer World’ on sign
with Jelly Babies, nuts and crisps, Tear Arse and Rise n Shine.
With tired legs we gathered round, at last the longs arrive
we stuffed our faces, quenched our thirsts enough to keep alive.

Around the fields of barley, oats or even wheat,
didn’t have much time to look as carefully watching feet
making sure we didn’t stumble on mud or stones and roots
you’d have to be a farmer to recognise those shoots!
So, I’m Only Here For the Beer educated Slip On Me,
whilst strolling through a meadow saw an orchid like a bee.



Front running B******* took the lead, Spocky and Paper Work
but by mistake someone took Short – Bell Toll, what a berk!
Whisperer was close behind and Buzby up front because……
after losing so much weight s’only half the man he was! 
Walkers struggled 5 long miles, 2nd sweetie stop not far,
this time Larks was parked in layby, serving goodies from his car.
Revived enough to run again – along a path we raced
it started raining so good job we had our macs around our waists.
Kermit lost the plot completely and walked to pub and back,
11 lonely miles he trudged, along the Tarka track.
Bobby and Dozy couldn’t be arsed to check where trail went,
and Piltdown n Georgie missed the run, (as shagging in their tent!)
 they emerged an hour later to find that we had left,
 walked straight to pub avoiding trail, arriving all bereft. 
 
At last the sun came out and warmed us up whilst running…….
up to the top of a long hill, where scenery was stunning.
At the top X-Bitz collapsed, got empathy from a few
Mavis sarcastically remarked “but it’s worth it for the view!”
Melon Picker had to stop, desperate to wee – poor chap,
with Dobby watching from behind, so U Bend took a snap!
A scary experience – tractor filled the road from edge to edge,
so Piddler squeezed himself in front which shoved me in the hedge!
Crossing the bog of eternal stench, must have been 6 times
probably filled with bugs and ticks - make sure you check for Lymes!
jumping ditches from side to side, quite wide in certain place,
so Lady Buoy just chucked her dog  (you should have seen her face!)
Beyond dark wood, the Tarka Trail we found ourselves again
fish hook and minimal flour blobs washed away by rain.
Steven Seagull looking droopy – so into him I blew ……
Hot Lips feeling ‘lucky’ announced he was poorly too!!!!
We all eventually reached the Laurel Tree to rest,
serving scrumpy cider at £1.50 was the best.
We circled up upon the lawn and RA’s gave out beers,
keeping notes of who done wrong - a number it appears!
Misdemeanours shared amongst the pack - embarrassing a few
I’m sure you will remember if one of them was you……… (‘cos I can’t)
A little problem then arose, how to get back to point A
as 54 knackered hashers horizontally on grass lay.
Juggling cars and drivers back and forth was the intention,
squeezing people into cars -  too many for the suspension!
Sore Point scraped her bottom……(that’s the bottom of her car)
and Bell Toll on returning couldn’t shift HT2 from bar!
Finally, we all made it and ‘day trippers’ returned to spouse,
feeling hot and sweaty the rest showered in the house.
A great day out was had by all, so huge thank you from uz……
on our 10 year celebration (Oh and Happy Birthday Buz!)
 
Onon Soapy xx                                      
 
 
 

 



May 2017 Devon A 2 B hash – Cornworthy


Hares Bigfoot Shortie, Rise & Shine and Teararse




 


As we were driving through the lanes of Cornworthy, we noticed a cyclist struggling up the hill. I thought poor chap, rather him than me and past him with ease in our car. We Drove into a field and parked up. Then in cycled Archangle who looked like he was all ready for the pub. On a cold and wet morning we circled up in our rain jackets expecting a wet hash. That’s Crap asked for volunteers for Scribe and RA, and in moments of weakness Minxy and I volunteered. Hares Rinse n Shine, Tear Arse and Bigfoot (managed by Shortie) started to explain the hash when all attention turned to a blue van driven by Moonflower arriving, first down down being noted for later. As the hares mentioned the long/short routes, bigfoot explained about how he used an elastic band to measure his distances. I don’t think I was the only one who expected an We start off running down the lane and down the hill towards the Harboune River and as we start to run down to and along the river the weather starts to brighten up and off comes most of the rain jackets.


Along the river with scenic views up and down valleys onto the first beer stop. Although I had only done the Shorts I felt like this was going to be a hilly hash. With such great views of the local countryside and not having hashed here before I decided to stop and take a photo. A little further ahead we noticed the longs joining us and my thoughts of a beer stop weren’t too far from my mind. Luckily for me we weren’t too far away. We stopped at a T-junction and fuelled up on the usual sweets and drinks, waiting around and talking. After a bit we headed off up the road to the farm house for the first check of the second split. With 3 possible choices runners run to check, all 3 came back so with instructions from the hare we went through the gate on to the right hand side of the farmhouse and then up over the hill and making our way to Dittisham. Hashing up on the hills with great views of the river below. The weather was still nice with the odd drizzle, allowing us to admire the views of the cottage below (little known to us at the time we would be running past this cottage later). As we turn right away from the river and head down the valley a sudden urge comes over me, and with nowhere and unable to hold I tee myself up for a down down in the pub!


As they say in hashing, what goes down must go up and as we head down to the bottom of the hill over a small stream, we head left and then up the other side of the valley with a calf burning gradient. Over the top we start to make our way down a lane where we are met by Bigfoot and a hazard warning “Seaweed”. We have a choice, we can either get our feet wet and turn right or we can turn left, thinking I will turn left, I start to move only to realise that everyone else has gone right! So being a hasher and not wishing to look feeble I decide to turn right along the road towards the church. Down the road, we turn to look right up a hill and who do we find ambling down the hill, rucksacks with cups and plates dangling off them, Woolly hats and socks tucked in trousers, but Peanut and Dobby with a dummy’s guide to ramblers association walks in hand looking like they were cast in the next carry on camping film. Apparently they had decided to go for a ramble instead. We get to the bottom of the hill and turn left along the riverbed heading inland. Underfoot becoming boggy and negotiating trees we make our way along the bed. With a bottleneck over a log, I take a moment to admire the view of the river. We continue along and we begin to lose the riverbed so I start to wade through the rest up to the second beer stop. We stop take a rest. The hares are asked to which direction next, over the small bridge and Runnerbean and Chipmunk are at their finest with Chipmunk standing on the bridge and making everyone go under her legs, which Runnerbean is laughing that everyone has to ascend up the steps.
The third leg seem to be relatively short compared to the first two and before long we were back at Cornworthy and heading to The Hunters Inn. I calculated that the shorts were approximately 9 Miles and I was told that the longs were just under 11 miles. An excellent hash finished, I settle in the pub for a nice glass of lemonade. The down downs commence and the following culprits drink, with the exception of me as I nominate Double D to drink my down down for 2 very good reasons, firstly I was driving but more importantly she doesn’t like ale!:


Hares Bigfoot, Rise n Shine and Teararse for giving Dobby, Peanut and McFee a guidebook.


● Moonflower for arriving late


● Flowerpower for being an A 2 B virgin and also an unknown mishap on the hash


● Shes ready for wimping out on the hash and not going into the water


● Minibar for dropping his pants at the end of the hash.


● Paperwork for finishing the hash, laying on the grass and farting


● 3D for being left short on the hash.


The hash meeting is concluded, the pub is thanked and we leave the pub.


 


March 2017 Run No 118
A – Cheriton Bishop
B – Fingle Bridge Inn
Author: Vomit


After an uneventful drive up the A38, onto the tail end of the M5 I found myself in the throbbing metropolis, which is  Cheriton Bishop. My Passenger, GAFFER, informed me that he knew exactly where we should be, and ‘no he didn’t need sat nav’. He directed me to the villiage hall CP, where we sat, on our own for 10 minutes before it dawned on us that we were in the wrong place.


So off we went , looking for the correct one, picking up Capt PEACOCK and RETREAD, also lost, on the way. After a wrong turn or two, we were honked by LEGOVER and GYMSLIP, (PH3 chapter), who directed us into the correct CP, on the main road, which we’d passed at least twice.


Our journey though was not as eventful as WHISPERER’S, who has just purchased a very expensive electric car, because he loves Dolphins and wants to make the roads a safer place  for them. Unfortunately this car has a range of 30 miles and A was 31 miles from his front door! So he had to pop into Exeter services and ask around for an iPhone charger, (it’s the same apparently). Don’t know how he got home.


At the Circle Up, at the YFC CP,(look it up), which had a strange smell of piss about it, because of the constant stream,(get it?) of Hashers and Hasherettes nipping around the corner, in full view of the estate, next door. We were introduced to some vrigins, to cries of ‘Burn them’, they were STOOL IN A BAG, RUSS, CROOK LOCK, JOHN BOY and NO WONDER BRA.


Our Hares, WOODY and GYMSLIP,(not PH3 chapter) told us the usual lies of 8 and 12, and marks on the left, apart from when on the right or when none at all.


And off we went


Tales from the Hash 


On the long, yours truly, VOMIT; after a hard week, compounded by old age fell off the back of the longs and was left to die. More of that later.


WHISPERER, PAPERWORK, GAFFER,GYMSLIP, CLOUSEAU and THAT’S CRAP, (towed by LARKS VOMIT’S mutt) all sprinted off over the horizon and were not seen by me for hours.


After missing an arrow and spending time looking for the trail Capt. PEACOCK AND RETREAD also over took me, leaving me to my fate.


Hash profile over 12 miles


Meanwhile, on the Shorts:  Whilst approaching a stile HIV informed virgin ROSS, (later to be named), that as Hashers we must always follow the country code, which means using said stile and not climbing over the gate. Which ROSS duly did, whilst everyone else walked through the 15’ gap next to it, left by the open gate.


Back to the Longs: I,(VOMIT) arrived at the first beer stop, to find LARK’S VOMIT packing up. ‘Oh we thought you were dead’. And to be fair I did feel a bit dead. But after a nanna, choccy bar and oggin, I shuffled off, (not this mortal coil), but to chase the Shorts. I caught up with our Hares and the Shorts a couple of fields later. SHE’S READY, likes to run at the front of the Shorts and check, unfortunately after a week of ‘over mouth use’;( THAT’S CRAP looked quite content, thinking about it) she had lost her voice. So our shouts of ‘are you’ went unanswered, as she disappeared into the distance.


On the Long, they had run out of marks and were geographically challenged, so referred to a map, given to them by WOODY AND GYMSLIP,(not PH3 chapter), who couldn’t be arsed to sweep. This was when they discovered the trail they’d followed wasn’t on it! Far be it for me to say anything about ladies and maps; so I won’t.


Back On the Shorts, with my new mates; DOBBY, DOUBLE D, TWIGGY and big mutt, HIV, LEGOVER, McFEE, NO BUTT, RISE & SHINE, SHE’S READY, SOREPOINT, TEAR ARSE, POLECAT AND FLOPPY DICK + virgins, (already mentioned), we made it to the second beer stop.


LARK’S VOMIT was already set up and offering hot tea and chocolate, just as the weather turned and we got rinsed and blow dried.


Then the Longs arrived, in different states of despair, all blowing trying to keep up with COUSTEAU!


‘Ah VOMIT’, they said. ‘We were worried about you’, they said. ‘We were going to go looking for you’, they said. ‘But in the end we couldn’t be arsed’. I was touched.


Onto the final leg, somewhere near Castle Drogo, on the side of a pretty impressive valley.


Myself, SHE’S READY, TWIGGY and big mutt and COUSTEAU came upon a check, and then followed marks in the direction of said castle. But then they ran out; so we looked and looked but found no more. We about faced and returned to the check, to find it marked the other way! When questioned the hares said; ‘we didn’t want you to go that way, so we put grass on the marks’. They must have been too heavy to kick out then.


At the pub WHISPERER asked what the big B was, on the floor. Nuff said.


We showered and changed outside the Fingle Bridge Inn, to the bewilderment of Jack Sparrow and his girlfriend, then retired inside.


There was a fire, beer and chips and finally GAFFER stood up as RA.


RUSS was christened NO STYLE and there was beers for misdemeaners. There was singing.


I have endeavoured to mention everyone. If I’ve missed anyone please accept my appologies.


This is a true and accurate account of events, and if any of you disagree then don’t ask me again, I thank you


 


April will be care of HIV and GAFFER at BEL TOR CORNER, near DARTMEET. Details to follow.


June will be in conjunction with GISPERT GALLOP apparently.


 


ONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONON


February 2017
Words for 04th February Ivybridge run.


 


As we gathered round at the circle for the start, That’s Crap noticed  H.IV’s  gaily coloured sunglasses. ; Our farthest travelled hasher, Gatecrasher, had come down from Bristol, well done (by Canadian distances this is like going to the next door  neighbour to drink some beer). We started out (3 score runners) in blue sky and sunshine heading towards Ugborough Beacon; the longs went up to the tor, the shorts skated around the side. We were warned that much of the flour may have washed away and not to follow the wood shavings. But wood shavings ‘was all there was’ except for the odd remnants of checks!  And so the shorts waited for the longs further around the side of the beacon, and then we all descended to the first beer stop at the old woollen mill, led by the hares. Lovely cheesy feet from She’s Ready’s oven (obviously the flour better used here than on the trail), which also ‘went down lovely’ with hot chocolate. Then on on over the river and up a steep ascent back onto the moor; the longs went around a bigger loop. Through some very soft fields and paths covered in slurry (‘bigger modern cows’ making that many pints of milk a day involves creating a bit of by-product).   There wasn’t rain at this point but it was building ready for a downpour. On on we descended again to Cornwood village beer stop where there were horses out ‘n’ about. Vomit had been ‘apparently using technology on the run to watch the rugby’ and was noted. On on we went, the longs traversed a field in a kind of 200m slurry run. The third section was a bit of nervous blast for the longs.


 


Then we were down off the moor. Twiggy stopped to wash the dog, ever hopeful that was the end of the slurry. But it was not to be. A passage through the trees with flooded sections of fields followed and the heavens had now opened. Just before the under garments got very damp we arrived at ‘B’ in Lee Mill in a ‘West’ something pub carpark smoking den (couldn’t be bothered to read its full name as the rain lashed on hard).


 


To down downs: Vomit for the Rugby incident; and once we actually had got changed the R.A., Gaffer, had already ‘Run Away’. Paperwork engaged in paperwork on the hash, and he and Bilco arrived at the bar with no socks. McFee was reminded of the futility of washing shoes in puddles half way round a hash. DD had not the nerve to ring the ‘bell for bartender service’ – fearing Quasimodo? She’s Ready was remarked upon as the New R .A. for Plympton and That’s Crap rewarded it; he stood in for the departed R.A. and described how he might get picked upon under the new management. Happy Shopper sent his wife shopping as soon as he was back (we were all a bit wet).


 



 Devon A2B December Trail 2016


A: Steps Bridge Dunsford


B: Artichoke Inn Christow about 9.5 miles for the short, closer to 14 for the long


Weather: Grey, cold, damp, windy what are we doing here December weather.


 


Participants: 14 harriers, 3 hairs, 2 dogs, 1 Larks Vomit  + sundry hash groupies D Family rug rats & their cute little 9 week old puppy that got passed round the pub (Ahhhh!) in as severe a case of Fluffy Animal Syndrome as I’ve seen for a long time.


Steps Bridge is as good a place to start as any and we were all there early for once stood around like penguins waiting for the off. We thought we had another arrival but it turned out to be some innocent civilian hoping he had got to Fingle Bridge instead.


We set off early at 12:41:23sec as we could not stand the chill any longer, straight up through the woods, the longs went up one way, the shorts another and apart from a brief halt at the second beer stop did not meet again till we got to B. Woods gave way to fields then footpaths and green lanes and a little bit of road took us to the first beer stop in Bridford village.


The second leg sent us close to Rowdon Rock then down the road and left through the woods beside Kennick Reservoir and an easy run down to the second beer stop by the dam. After a bit of confusion over an ambiguously placed arrow we set off again to the lower Tottiford Reservoir, across the dyke in the middle, dog legged out of the woods then green lanes and footpaths out to tarmac, civilisation and the Artichoke Inn. Good trail, nicely balance & easy to follow.


The pub had a good selection of beer and what looked like an overpriced menu for hashers till you looked closer and saw that half the money went to the cancer appeal “Save our Mum”, the food looked good especially the ham egg & chips. Paper Work braved the heckling with Down-Downs for the hares and the usual misdemeanours but he struggled to get the attention of those involved in the intense, competitive, puppy handling going on at our end of the bar.


The next A2B is January 7th 2017 I’ll be laying a short trail round the ski resort you’re all welcome to join me                        On On……… HIV


 



Devon A2B 5th November 2016  PDF with Pictures
From a carpark in the middle of nowhere, to Moorlands Hotel, Wotter (NE of Plymouth, on the edge of Dartmoor). Hares: Gymslip & Legover; 20 hounds, a couple of dogs and Larks Vomit supplying dray as usual.
Virgin: Harry
RA: Bilko
What a glorious day! Crisp, dry, sunny, a bit chilly, but for November, it was perfect. After the usual coercing of scribe and RA, introductions and information (a smidge under 10 for the shorts, 15 for the longs, might not be any flour left on the first 2 legs as it rained overnight) we were sent off in the direction of a short near vertical uphill scramble across the road from the carpark. Not long after we were back down again, across the road, and peering around for very washed out remnants of flour and keeping our eyes on the hare for clues about the general direction. We followed a stream for quite a while along a potentially ankle twisting/breaking non-path, then eventually across it, through a stone circle and up onto the moor. A hastily re-marked check (plenty more of those were to come) had us searching in various directions until eventually we were called on, in the general direction of somewhere between Sheepstor and Leather Tor.

I don’t know Dartmoor very well, living on the East Devon/Somerset border, but Sheepstor looked familiar to me, and on further investigation I discovered that it was where a bunch of us from Taunton Hash spent the night wild camping (no tents) in summer 2016 on a weekend hike. The night sky and shooting stars were amazing.
Burrator Reservoir was very low (according to Cousteau that’s because the tide was out), and the longs arrived at the first regroup before the shorts, so for once we got first pick of the sweets and refreshments. However, it also meant that we waited the longest and got coldest before setting off again! Double D, Sorepoint and Rise ‘n’ Shine mislaid the trail somewhere in the woods and arrived at the regroup after the rest of the pack had moved on, after adding an extra mile or so to their route. Not only did they find the hot chocolate, but Larks also kindly gave them a lift to a suitable rendezvous so that they didn’t have to spend the rest of the day trying to catch up. What a gentleman.
The 2nd leg started much as the first had done, ie up a near vertical incline before the long-short split. Cora must be feeling fitter than usual as she did the second leg with TC, and didn’t try wriggling out of her harness this time. Longs were sent along another stream, through some woods, past some ponies, up onto open moor and in more or less a big left hand sweep to Meavy.

Through the churchyard, down the hill, across another stream, and back up the other side into some fields and more woods. Whisperer, Cousteau and Harry were last seen heading off in the wrong direction, leaving Bell Toll, Twiggy, Paperwork and That’s Crap sticking close to Gymslip when the flour wasn’t visible. We caught up with the shorts just before the 2nd regroup, where Whisperer, Cousteau and Harry had already arrived, having not gone wrong after all, just fast.



Where next? Not really sure, but it definitely involved more moor, more woods, an "illegal" field crossing with some barbed wire to negotiate, more very steep downs and ups, and more river crossings. Nearing the end we could almost see the carpark where we’d started, but it was just out of sight in a dip. A mile or so of fairly level running on springy turf took us over the crest to a sweeping view across to Plymouth and the Channel, and then to the on inn at Moorlands Hotel. If only we’d known Gymslip’s and Legover’s room number we could have all dumped our bar bill on them!
Excellent river crossings – all either narrow enough to jump over or with stepping stones, so although not everyone managed it, many of us kept our feet dry.
Many thanks to the hares and to Larks for keeping us going with the usual excellent array of drinks and snacks.
On on! Twiggy
Down downs:
1. Hares – Gymslip & Legover
2. Water themed nominations:

Tear Ass for crossing the first river on the stepping stones and then falling in at the end – Wet Ass
Cousteau for "tide’s out" comment


She’s Ready for heading off into the bushes at the first beer stop when there were public toilets 20yds up the road
She’s Ready got the down down.

3. Double D, Rise’n’Shine and Sorepoint for losing themselves in the woods – Sorepoint took the punishment.

4. Madam Cyn fell over after getting her foot stuck in a hole and then stumbled over a fallen tree trunk. Catflap was the sinner for ignoring his wife’s predicament and running right past. Chivalry is dead!
Blackdown Beast details
£10 entry fee, in aid of MacMillan Cancer Support. It’s a bit like a hash with pasty/pub stops along the way.
Great atmosphere and well organised by Honiton Running Club.
Details and online entries at http://www.honitonrc.com/blackdown-beast-jan.html






HASH:   1 Oct 2016                                    
VENUE:  the Monks Retreat, Broadhempston     
HARES:  Big Foot, McFee, Rise & Shine & Shortie,
We were directed to the village hall car park where there was ample space for us and we were told that there was no need to carry our bags to the transport car as point B was not far from point A!!  In fact point B was the same as point A and throughout the trail we were never more than 2 miles from the pub.  We were told we could also see the church most of the way around, a fact that one of the hares, Mc Fee took seriously whilst she was helping set the run because at one stage she couldn’t see the church for a mile or so and she was getting decidedly worried.



That’s Crap called us to circle up and a very small select group we were this month, 14 hashers and 4 hares.  We had a virgin A2Ber Polecat and a virgin RA in the shape of Spiderman.  We all headed up the lane out of the village and the longs went off to the right.  A while later Bilko and Sore Point thought they could hear the calls of the longs but it turned out to be the whistle from the steam train on the South Devon Railway.  On one of the short loops Polecat, Bucks Fizz and Bilko lost the marks and almost ended up back in the village square and the pub, that would have been an effort to drag ourselves back onto the trail, when we retraced our steps we found an obvious check that wasn’t there when we went thru the first time.  At the first beer stop provided by Larks and Double D, Whisperer was so desperate to get to a drink that he knocked over about 4 cans of Redbull which were on top of the cool box, 2 of them split showering his face.  He spent the rest of the trail blinking at twice the normal rate.  Sore Point missed an arrow in the woods 1 metre long made from thick branches, she nearly missed a 2nd slightly smaller one in the same woods but definitely noticed the 3rd one which 3 hashers duly followed her down a steep path only for Big Foot to call them back as they were going the wrong way.  Back up the path they trudged “But we were following an arrow” she declared.  “Ah don’t know about that one”, said Big Foot, “I didn’t put that there”


 


The only bit of gossip I got from the long runners was of Manpig telling some sort of shaggy dog story to do with deodorant which went on and on.  Big Foot ended up sticking marshmallows into his ears.


 


Back in the pub That’s Crap asked the barmaid for 20 halves of beer, more beer than the number of hashers. 



The nominations were:


That’s Crap – normally very sure-footed tripped on an extra large blade of grass


Twiggy – was heard to say – You hold mine and I’ll hold yours ! Turns out she and TC were helping their dogs over the stiles


Big Foot – for declaring that he had laid some of the trail in black runner bean seeds


Can’t remember who won it, must have been TC, he seemed to be downing ½ pints most of the evening !!



A short AGM followed with the following awards:
Hasher of the Year – Double D
Dray Person of the Year – Larks Vomit
Pillock of the Year – Whisperer
Best Down Down – That’s Crap
Wettest Trail – That’s Crap and She’s Ready
Shiggiest Trail – Paperwork and Sore Point
Scenic Trail – Mouthful and No but
Scribe of the Year – Bilko
RA of the Year – That’s Crap
Best OnDown – That’s Crap and She’s Ready (Ship Inn)








September A2B
Ashburton Away Weekend 02/09/16-04/09/16
Bracken Tor, Oakhampton

This was our first away weekend with Ashburton and it certainly won't be our last. It was jam packed with lots of red dresses, sacking the chef, the A2B, rain, beer stops, more rain, fancy dress, games and the hang over hash. This was a day to late for some, not naming any names Gromit.

Friday- Hasher's turned up in dribs and drabs from about 4pm, with the hares for the A2B , No Butt and Mouthful having already out and about laying for the following days trail but one person who had the beer, cider, food, oh and the trail for the red dress hash had yet to be seen. Boggy. Panic was starting to set in for the No Butt as it was approaching tea time and the red dress trail was due to start at 7pm. Luckily Hasher's being Hasher's and these being nice people, 3D and Paperwork got some flour and set about completing a trail for the red dress hash.

After food it was circle up time, many looking fetching in their red dresses, I think a few of the children looked a bit disturbed by a couple of the outfits, mainly That’s Crap. The hares advised that the hash started from the flag at the end if the drive and it had run over some of the trail for the A2B yet many started off and decided to check at a marking prior to the flag, it's great to see people listen to instructions.

We made our way along the trail while some walked straight down the main road to town. 3D the kids and I stopped for one drink as previous lack of sleep was catching up with us all and knowing the hill coming down opted for a taxi back up (it's great when you have kids cos you can use them as the excuse to be lazy). We slowly had small groups head back up to the hostel out of breath from the climb up the hill muttering that they wish they got taxis. Most got back at a reasonable hour unlike gromit and those that had to help him get to bed.

Saturday- The Chefs get sacked…..

Breakfast had all been arranged Boggy was buying the food and Strapo was cooking it Saturday morning, unfortunately Swampy got stuck at work on Friday and they weren't turning up til the Saturday. There were rumours that they were going to make it to start breakfast but at 8am Boggy took the task in hand with the help from others and prepped and cooked breakfast for 31. At one point I know No Butt had concerns that people running the A2B may get hungry as we wouldn't have time for lunch but that worry was far out the window as it was more brunch. As Strapo arrived just prior to breakfast being served he was sacked, and then shortly reinstated for Sunday's breakfast.

Gromit finally made it out of bed with a very dreary look about him was whisked off to Kay the last section of the trail with Mouthful.

Circle up time for the A2B at Bracken Tor youth hostel and with the 31 already there for the away weekend we had another 13 turn up just for the A2B. A great turn out and the weather was staying positive despite the forecast. No Butt being the only hare at point A sorted out her VIPs (the children), advised it was 3 on with 4 long short splits, any short cutters and VIPS to stay with her. As onon that way was called the rain started.

It all seems a bit of a blur to where we went as it kepted raining and I was watching my feet more than the scenery. The first shorts headed in to some woods where we appeared to be following a Pre organised race with orange coloured flags. We still checked for flour marks just incase. We met the first beer stop at the railway station which was where the VIPs caught the train to the next section. That's crap made a swift exit with an injury to B to enjoy the dry and the wetness of some beer. He has now been nicknamed uncle TC for looking after Runnerbean, least this time she wasn't sick on him.

Some of us shorts arrived before the longs and decided to take the next long and realised we had to now do the checking. Big mistake as Sorepoint, Bigfoot, Chewing Gum and I decided to take some if the previous night's trail and headed off to town where we bumped into Spotty Bott who appeared to be making up his own hash. He decided to leave us lost Hasher's and get up to the train station to meet No Butt and jump the next stage. Not sure that happened either. The lost ones decided to make our way back up to previous check where we spotted the longs and that was the last we saw of the longs as they shot off. We made it back on track which helped from fresh marks as Gromit and Mouthful had made it back and was remarking, we found the new marks and followed a footpath along a private road to the left of the castle and again from there i think we went into woods again and bridal paths and made it to the next beer stop, it was still raining.

The last section took us on the moor where the weather was really turning and the mist coming in. Sorepoint and I continued to follow the long at this point as we could see a couple of Hasher's and a hare on the long, great we thought, we won't get lost with the hare until he said I didn't lay this bit Gromit did and we lost each other earlier. Oh we thought,maybe the short would have been the better option. We started to lose the trail when we saw gromit, great he knows where he's going, not fully the case. We started to make our way down of the tor to see mint and chewing gum (good combination) running back along the top in the opposite direction, after shouting them brown they said they had been to the trig point but couldn't see any more flour other than that on the trig, the hares looked at each other and went, we haven't been up to the tor and there shouldn't have been four up there. Good job we spotted them.

Once at the bottom and on the no 27 cycle path we asked gromit how much further, not far just a little way up this road what felt like 2miles later, oh wait it was 2miles later we made it to B, oh and it was still raining until the last person made it back to the pub and it stopped.

Down downs went to:

That's Crap for his child minding duties
Spotty bit for getting lost, not only once but twice, he didn't make the train either and blue toothing his music on Friday night to then walk out the room with his phone.
Gromit for being needing to be out to bed the first night
Paperwork for irritating twiggy on the minibus and for trying to juggle badly with pool balls and dropping them on the wooden floor whilst some were suffering with hang overs.
Boggy for breakfast and for then heading to Plymouth to watch the footy.
Poacher for his birthday the following week.
Game Bird - one drink then bed on Friday night
Cheesy Chips for having no trainers to hash in and blaming others for lack if them.
Tadpole for wearing a size 22 dress on the red dress hash, bearing mind he could probably get into a size 8.
Gromit announced on Friday night circle up 7:45 to 6 people and wondered how many he missed.
Dick Sack offering his room mates breakfast in bed.
3D luring That's Crap in to babysitting duties by offering to drive him around and buy him a pint.
Big Foot for moaning the trail was over the 15 mile limit but added he did get lost.
The hares No Butt and Mouthful.

It was then a night of spooky fancy dress , games and drinking and singing. Guzunder had arrange a treasure hunt where our kids deserted us for the youngsters, we had to wrap the hasher to make a mummy, first team to wrap their hasher with 2 toilet rolls won, guess the missing hasher and guess the food in the jelly. A great way to start the evening and signing and dancing til the very early hours.

Sunday, breakfast slightly more calmer, all ready and waiting for us all and then panic hit that the gluten free sausages hadn't been cooked, sacked again strapo.

Joint hang over hash with city of Exeter, I've had enough if typing and can imagine your bored reading so see city if exeter for the hash write up.

Thanks to all involved to make it a great weekend and we'll done No Butt who organised it all.

On on Double D











Devon A2B 6th August
To view Twiggy's words with all pictures download the PDF HERE -Well worth it !
Parke NT carpark, Bovey Tracey, On Inn at The Palk Inn, Hennock.
Hares: Rear Ender, Forrest Stump (with Mitch) and Forrest Hump (who appeared, as if by magic, part way through the run, with Mitch’s little sister, (Lola?)). Mitch and Lola are clearly distant cousins of Moth’s.
Virgins: Grim (Ashburton H3), TomTom (didn’t say where she was from), and Shit Name (Plympton H3), Mitch (see above)
RA: She’s Ready

It was a hot and sunny day, and after the briefing: "flat, short, no views," (believe that and you’ll believe anything) "and four regroups" (not so short then), we set off from Parke NT carpark (50m/164ft asl), with the longs setting off uphill through fields, whilst the shorts took the presumably flatter/downhill route. A check in the middle of a field was missed by some, but picked up by the back markers, and the route then took us off to the right and down through the woods. We were soon onto a disused railway line (thank you, Mr Beeching) for a nice shady jog, heading west. However, this was the only flattish bit of ground for the next 15 or so miles.
The first regroup was after only 2.6 miles. Clearly the first leg and early beer stop were engineered to help lull us all into a false sense of security.
The shorts were then ushered off by Rear Ender, whose parting shot to the longs was that Whisperer knew the area, so we should be OK, just in case the flour/sawdust was a bit sparse. All very well, but it transpired that although Whisperer did know the area, he didn’t know where we were going, so that was no use at all! That’s Crap dragged Lark’s dog off for the second leg but she was having none of it, wriggled out of her harness and ran back down to the car, with TC in hot pursuit after said recalcitrant dog. After returning harness and lead, TC then returned alone. He should have known better, as Lark’s dog only ever does one leg. Meanwhile, the rest of us were heading uphill, veering round to the left, when someone asked if anyone had seen any flour/sawdust recently. Er… no. Note to hares – sawdust in dappled woodland is about as visible as flour in a bakery! Flour in dappled woodland is much easier to spot. Much milling around, checking various options, and then retracing steps to find we should have gone off to the right about ¼ mile back. Back on trail, along the side of a stream, where Brush Off failed to brush off a dog that decided to taste his blood, and whose owners gave Brush Off the brush off when he told them that their dog had just bitten him. Over a little bridge where a sign told us we were in Bovey Valley Woods. The OS map calles it Lustleigh Cleave and the contour lines are almost touching each other. Only the ignorant, insane or sado-masochistic would consider it. You can choose which category our hares should be in. The path went up… and up… and up… and up… and up… and up… and up… and up… and each time we thought we could see the top of it, it went up some more, with distant cries from the front runners of "On on" becoming ever fainter. Eventually at the top, but no respite, as it then went down… and down… and down… and down… and down… and down… and down, and you couldn’t go much faster than on the uphill unless you were a mountain goat (or Cousteau) because it was treacherous with roots, stones, holes, etc. Long steep ups and downs repeated several times to greater or lesser extent, until eventually staggering
(well, I was staggering) out onto open moorland with a fabulous 360
view of most of Dartmoor and beyond to the south coast.
Through a little gate by Hunters Tor, the only way now was downhill through the bracken and brambles, past some farm buildings, along a long farm track (past a field of happy looking pigs and piglets) and right (north east) onto a lane. Whisperer, who had been well out ahead of me, along with most of the others, suddenly appeared from behind, somewhat sheepishly admitting that local knowledge isn’t always a helpful thing! This happened several more times as the run progressed. We then had a long downhill from Barne Cross on tarmac to the A382, to Regroup no 2 at Wray Barton (155m/508ft asl). This was a temperance stop, so no beer and minimal snacks, but most welcome nonetheless.
Having been the rear ender of Rear Ender’s long trail for most of the way, no sooner had Moth and I gulped some water and a few crisps, than we were off again.
At this point I stopped taking notes, and concentrated on not losing sight of whoever was in front of me (Roadkill, mostly). Leg three was more of the same – something of a blur of pain and hills, a mixture of woods and lanes, up, down, up, down, up. Mostly up. Looking at the map and piecing sections together as I’m writing, I’m assuming we went through Wray Cleave and Pepperdon Down.
3rd regroup – no bananas left! Malt loaf stopped the gap and the longs set off again along the side of a field to Blackingstone Rock…. which we all climbed of course. More stunning views, SSW to Hay Tor, and just as far to whatever there is in the other directions! More moor and lovely Dartmoor countryside, mostly.

Moth managed the perilously steep and shallow steps down the rock without going a*** over t** (a distinct possibility for a dog unable to go down backwards) and then us back markers followed Forrests Stump and Hump through more bracken and along a wiggly route through a pine wood (Laployd Plantation?) coming out onto another lane. The front runners had already sped on ahead, missing the check that had been rubbed/blown out, and having to be called back for a sharp right turn through a hedge and into more woods, along an unmarked/private path (I think this was through Clampitt Plantation). At least this meant that we actually saw the front runners again briefly!
I can’t remember the next bit too clearly, but it must have been mainly downhill because we came to Kennick Reservoir. Off to the left on a grassy path along the side of Tottiford Reservoir (which was actually Tottiford Swamp, because it was empty), where Roadkill and I hopefully said to the hares, "Presumably we’re quite close to the next regroup now, aren’t we?". The reply was less than encouraging. "Er.. erm….ahem… not really". But at least it was flat or downhill most of the way from there to the last regroup (165m/541ft asl), where Moth found the stream very welcome to cool down in and have a drink.
Most people had already been through, so Roadkill, Meavy Maid and I gave up on the long and took the short for the last leg. Not another steep one?! The contour lines for Greatrock Copse are, if possible, even closer together than in Lustleigh Cleave. Surmising that the hares, in a previous life, were all members of the Spanish Inquisition and were master torturers, we struggled on, up and then down again through the woods, across a lane, up through more woods where someone had rather oddly fixed their TV aerial to the side of a tree (perhaps this was for the delightfully named Twizzle Tree Cottage), through some fields (we’d caught up with some of the shorts by now) and finally down into Hennock, to The Palk Arms, which was friendly and welcoming, and even provided the down downs for free.
Thanks to the hares for a very scenic A2B on a lovely day with some stunning views.
Reminder from the GM:
A2Bs should be about 15 miles for the longs, and 10miles for the shorts, with two regroups/beer stops.
Down downs:
Hares: Rear Ender, Forrest Stump & Forrest Hump. FS not drinking so allocated ???? to take his down down
Fallers: Big Bird spreadeagled, Road Kill face planted and Paperwork broke a gate – Paperwork took the punishment (a bit too eagerly!)
Dogs: That’s Crap chasing Lark’s dog, Brush Off poisoning an innocent hungry dog, can’t remember the 3rd one – TC had the down down
Driving incident: FS rumbled – he was fined for speeding when driving RE’s car
Stats:
3 hares, 2 dogs, 1 dislocated thumb (Forrest Hump was a faller); 29 hounds, 3 dogs
73½ tired legs (Cousteau is bionic and never appears to tire)
Short route was a long route at about 14.5 miles
Long route was a longer route at about 18 miles
Two top tips: 1. Hares - use self-raising flour mixed with salt.
A Taunton hasher, clearly with nothing better to do, recently did a very scientific trial in his garden and found that self-raising lasts longer than plain. If you also add some salt (I use about 2-3 tablespoons per large/4 pint milk bottle) – that definitely deters the slugs!
2. If your big toes regularly wear through the uppers of your running shoes, darn the hole with dental floss.




Words -06/06/2016 Run 109 Hares - Sorepoint and Paperwork



A big thank you to the organisers, helpers and hares of the joint Gispert & A to B Hash Weekend.






Extra work for the hares, Sore Point and Paperwork, to consider the Gispert weekenders and the A to B contingent.  We circled up eagerly awaiting the hare’s instructions.  Paperwork stepped up, there were longs and shorts for the A to B and an old farts walkers trail for some of the Gispert Gallopers.  Sounds good and straightforward, but no…….there was more…..and more…..and snoozzzzzzzzzzzzzze.   We woke up 15 minutes later with Paperwork………still talking!!






Finally set off – everyone running around like a ‘flink of cows’ (ask Wigwam) as one trail was laid in flour and sawdust and the other in just flour but somehow they got mixed up!!!


We were only at the second check and Bell Toll was spotted sitting on a bench admiring the view!!! 


A fab trail taking us over hills and fields – through the village of South Molton and a shopping stop in the market! Really! What’s hashing coming to!! We wondered why we were told to take money with us?


 


The hares did a brilliant job keeping everyone together. The timings for the first beer stop was perfect. 


 


Some hashers decided to wade up a river but had to cross a field full of sheep with a sign up saying ‘No Public Access’ to get back on trail.  X Bitz was sure she saw a farmer with a gun! Probably had too much of Buzby’s Dark Secret the night before…..??


Some complications arose with the hares having to check maps, compasses and the position of the sun…..Oh no! It was cloudy…..to find the path through very long grass.


Second stop was very welcome…especially for Gymslip who went over on her ankle earlier.  Hotlips was heard offering to massages ladies legs.


Thanks Larks for keeping everyone fed and watered.


Arrived at B with everyone intact.  Everyone dripping so stripping off in the car park.  GHR flashing off his brightly coloured boxers.


 


Down Downs:


Sore Point and Paperwork for a really great trail and for keeping all together at the right time but in the wrong order.


 


Gymslip and Woody from Kerton hash for being virgin A to B’ers.  Joint down down for Woody who was due to lay a trail for Isca the previous Wednesday but went on holiday leaving Gymslip to sort it out!


 


She’s Ready for getting her Gymslip’s mixed up!


Peanut for trying to avoid an electric fence but insisted on checking it as she wanted to curl her hair for the evening do.


                            



 





Words -07/05/2016 Run 108 Hares - Meavy Maid and Cowpat


We all gathered last Saturday at Scorriton village hall, it didn’t take long for the car park to fill up, not sure what the locals thought of the motley crew. Manpig true to form turned up last and was our stand in GM as That’s Crap was holidaying somewhere sunny.


Carthusalem our founder member joined us on the run, great to see him whilst he was in the UK.



Vomit was volunteered to be the RA and I can’t remember volunteering for the Words, but here I am writing them.


Hares- Meavy Maid and Cow Pat told us there was a long and a short, lots of checks and several splits, with one big hill…they didn’t lie, there was.



We tried to work out where we were but failed, are we on the moors, near a Dam, who knows but we enjoyed some amazing views…..


We were kept together really well and if only the shorts had run up the very steep hill then the longs wouldn’t have had to wait for us at the beer stop. For some unknown reason Paperwork decided to run back down the very steep hill just to run up it again…for fun!



Manpig ran the first section with Kura, I tried to take her on the second but very sensibly she decided, No, it was too hot so she sat down and refused to move!!


We ended up in Buckfastleigh after a great run across the moors, past the head of the Avon Dam and along the Abbot’s Way, the shorts did almost 10 miles and the longs, a lot more!
Great beer stops along the way, many thanks to Larks and Troughie.



Down Downs went to:-


Meavy Maid and Cow Pat for a fantastic trail
Dobby, Phlegm and Hard On for being virgin A2B’ers
Twiggy for some misdemeanour
Whisperer for attempting to cut oranges with the blunt side of a knife
Woof Woof for drinking cider and claiming it was water
Moonflower for having the wrong bra on and telling people!
Paperwork for running up one of the steepest hills ever—twice!
Brush Off for falling over whilst using a phone!
Carthusalem for visiting and leading us in singing before the down downs.




It turned out to be a fab day, lovely weather, a fantastic trail, amazing views and great company, ice-cream was even available at B!


Thank you all…on on to next month at the Gispert Gallop.



Mc Fee x




Words -05/03/2016 Run 106 Hares - Brush Off, Road Kill and Tenzing


Bampton Car park







The little town of Bampton was taken by surprise, by the arrival of many more cars than


usual on a Saturday morning, particularly as the group of intrepid runners grew in size and


blocked the entrance to the car park. The weather was sunny but cold.


The run had been set by 3 hashers from Bridgwater Towpath H3. It was one and on and


straight up a hill! The course took us through field & forest, up and down hill, over rivers


(or was it the same river at different crossing places?) and through beautiful gardens.


Most of the time I had no idea where I was. Thankfully the beer stops appeared just at


the right time..... thank you so much to the kind lady who provided them.


 


My general feeling was that it was a hash consisting of many losses. This started with two


hashers loosing their Devon A2B virginity. Paperwork nearly lost his life being hit by a car


wing mirror, Baby Spice lost her gloves, I lost my temper with thoughtless boy racer trying


to run us down, Brush off lost his shoe (again) and a few hashers lost their way on the last


leg.


 


Thank you Brush Off, Road Kill and Tenzing for a superb run.


On on


Words - 06/02/2016 Run 105 Hares - She's Ready and That's Crap


 


On On-ings on


 


It was a warm and sunny Saturday. It is true that you could hear passers by whistling the tune to, “the sun is out, the sky is blue…” However, you only felt and heard this if you had taken some thoroughly “magic” substances. The circle up (huddle in a ball behind a shipping container) was brief with me (Snowy) volunteered as scribe and Captain Peacock nominated to be RA.


 


Foreshadowing what was to come, the entire pack was led past a washed away check by Whisperer being characteristically quiet about if he was actually following anything. After the hash was redirected by the hares She’s Ready and That's Crap, the first leg was uneventful apart from Peacocks budget ski holiday (organised by Ryan Air for £1.99) which he found enjoyable despite the fact the brochure neglected to tell him that ski with Ryan Air just involved an A to B hash in the rain with road shoes.


 


At the first beer stop, in accordance with hashing tradition, many people shared and ate their bananas and their nuts despite the hash being in a public car park. The mulled wine was much appreciated by all who managed to get some.


 


The second leg was equally dry and mud free. Then the cows came. Custo was running up a hill and quickly returned when he found a herd of cows were heading down towards him. Being sensible, he along with others waited on the bank. That’s Crap who thought standing directly upright in gale force winds was rewarded by the hashing Gods with his hat being picked off his head and dumped in the mud before being trampled on by approximately 1000 cows. That’s crap perfectly described the fate of his hat although he later put back on. Some people who tried to escape the cows found that a gate connected to electric fence can be a bit zappy.


 


The third leg was shorter but still just as wet so everyone enjoyed arriving in point B.


 


Down Downs


 






  • Double D was awarded a down down for having a little accident in her pants. The brown smudge was shown to the entire pub.




  • Whisperer was awarded a down down for shouting once.


  • Gaffer was given a down down for his cow phobia.  This apparently why he doesn't like his wife too much.


  • A virgin was given a down down for making the mistake of joining the only hash house harrier for the criminally insane.


  • She’s Ready and That’s Crap were awarded a down down for doing such a good job of being hares.


  • Hugo was awarded a coke for his Birthday.


  • I was awarded a coke for making the amateur mistake of forgetting spare boxers.





    Devon A to B – Run 104 set on 2.1.16.
     
    Hare – Moonflower and Bill (Moonflower’s son - a virgin hare)
     
    Hounds – 34 hardy individuals from all over the place including Leicester.
     
    Dray Operators – Many thanks to HIV and another Bill (husband of hasher and virgin dray operator!) Special mention and thanks also here for delicious Guinness cake from Readycrap household.
     
    Start – Postbridge Car Park (middle of Dartmoor).
     
     
     
    Forgoing my New Year pedicure I headed to the middle of the Dartmoor to join 33 other hashers for a toe curling, squidgy, mud splattering hash but I was wearing my Sealskins so my toes stayed pretty and pink! The Met Office had forecasted dire warnings of rain and gales starting at 1pm! However they were wrong. It started dry-ish with blue sky in the distance, but rain and wind did arrive later.
     
     
    I am guessing all of us really appreciated the effort that the hares must have put in to lay the trail in appalling weather the day before and then re-lay sections from 8am that morning as well as the flour had washed away over night. That’s Crap introduced several new A-B Hashers, then Moonflower gave instructions  “7 miles short, 12 on long” “mind the river crossing” “waist high” “Bill slipped over 6 times laying that section” “bit muddy underfoot” “one and on” ……. And we were off.
     
    Tales from the trails – It was very, very wet on Dartmoor, paths had turned into streams and boggy bits were deep. I heard several hashers on the ‘long’ did not wade thigh high in freezing cold water but squeezed along the side. Dave (Sorcerer’s Apprentice) came in first on the second ‘long’ leg because he was so slow he managed to avoid Moonflower’s misdirections and call backs. Warren House Inn was the welcome ‘B ’ and That’s Crap was the first one in there or so he said … no idea if true or not as short routers and long routers ran the same last section and I was near the back. Squash Balls –left his bag in Moonflower’s van so will have to go hashing on Sunday for Moonflower to return his (or her?) washed and ironed running gear!!!!
    Down Downs–
    Grasshopper could be renamed ‘Flip Flopper’ as his shoes disintegrated even after being carefully taped.
    Chris (from Leicester) for whining so much so was named ‘Humpy’ however he was my hero on that barb wire fence short cut and I was glad he did not have to put his medical training into practice.
    Moonflower X2 for setting the run, and then because she couldn’t remember her route,  becoming a live hare half way through some sections on the Long Route.
    Sore Point – for a slip over and wet knickers just AFTER the boggy section.
    Meavy – who “liked going down on men!” on the hills.
    Pilgrims Faster- for a great maiden speech but also for pulling a ‘sicky’ to go on such a memorably wet hash …
    Am guessing all who attended may need pedicures now – mine is rebooked !!!!!!




    Date 05/12/2015 A: Normandy Way, St Budeaux
     
    B: The FerryHouse Inn, Saltash Passage
     
    Hares: Gymslip and Legover
     
    The Pack:
     
    BilkoCatflapGatecrasherHIVLarks(beermaster)MadamcynPaperwork
     
    PilgrimRisenShineShesreadySofarSorepointSwingerTeararseThatscrapVomit
     
    (Sorry if I missed anyone – just going from a very faded memory)
     
    What Went On-on
     
    The wind was blowing a right hooley, particularly around Pilgrim’s goolies. Well he was wearing tiny shorts in December! In complete contrast, Swinger insisted on being fully clothed from head to toe right up to the off. HIV tried to get away with paying only £1 – how many A2Bs has he done?
    Despite there being clean respectable public toilets just 2 minutes’ walk away, many of the harriettes chose to go behind a bush.  Sorepoint returned from her “toilet” with cuts on her hands, complaining about a prickly bush. Time for that bikini wax.
    As a ruse to keep warm, Pilgrim took on a local kid at football and was soon joined by That’s Crap and Coora the dog.  It got very competitive but the dog and the 6 year old won. 
    Bilko screeched around the corner and it was time for the off. The first check was just yards away and Madamcyn was not happy that the boys were taking far too long to find the trail when she had not had chance to warm up.
    Towards the toilets we went and over the bridge into Cornwall.  The winds felt now up to gale force strength, making it hard work across the bridge.  Then steep downhill to the river, where we went past more toilets.  At one check, Teararse was confident she had chosen the right way until she learned the hares are tri-athletes and might well have us in the water.  She’sready could not resist the 3rd set of toilets we had passed within 15 minutes of the start (thank you, hares).  Then we went uphill and ventured around the China Fleet golf course.  HIV was giving history lessons to anyone who would listen.
    Catflap picked up a couple of “lost balls”, then minutes later some golfers were scratching their heads looking for their balls. 
    After about 1.5 hours, we eventually reached the 1st beer stop. The lovely Larks thoughtfully provided some very welcoming Hot Chocolate and Coffee.  These complimented DD’s scrummy home-made biscuits. Thank you DD, they went down very well.
    Larks was busy flashing at everyone, but payed particular attention to Gymslip’s arse.
     
    I always thought Cornwall was behind the times, but I saw Father Christmas passing by on the back of a motorbike.
    The pack were now worried that a. we would need torches and b. would not finish the hash before the start of the evening’s comedy show. 
    Luckily the hares had been kind and the 2nd and 3rd legs were much shorter.  Pilgrim kept bragging that being Cornish, he knew exactly where B was but still got every check wrong.
    Catflap dropped his balls and started talking in a much deeper voice.
    On the final leg, the trail took us down Fore Street which was closed to traffic for Saltash’s Christmas lights party.  There were bands playing and choirs singing, with the crowd cheering us on as we ran / staggered through.  All it needed was some firemen waiting with their fully loaded hoses and it could have been the finish of the Grizzly!
    Then it was back over the very wind bridge to Devon and the very conveniently placed toilets (thank you hares), then downhill to B, which was just 5 minutes’ walk from the start.
    In typical hash fashion, we all got changed outside, making use of the table and benches.  All except Gatecrasher, who smartly chose to change inside the pub (I assume she did this in the toilets and not the bar area). 
    Vomit led the circle and gave down-downs to the following:
    Larks – taking photos of Gymslip’s bottom
    Madam Cyn –losing humour at 1st check
    Bilko – Peanut smuggling
    Gatecrasher – hiding from the hashers when getting changed
    Sorepoint – needing bikini wax
    Catflap – nicking and dropping his balls
    Pilgrim – beaten by 6 year old boy and dog at football
     
     
     
    The 4 stages of life:
    1. You believe in Santa Claus
    2. You don't believe in Santa Claus
    3. You dress up as Santa Claus
    4. You look like Santa Claus
     
    Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
     
    HASH:   7 Nov 2015                                   
     
    VENUE:  Dunkeswell to Honiton                
     
    HARES:  Sore Point & Paperwork
     
     
    Although That’s Crap called us to circle up most of us stayed huddled under the tree as it was still raining.  He introduced us to some A2B virgins from Taunton & Bridgewater hashes.  We were told that there was 2 beer stops and were introduced to a new type of mark – a circle with a dot in it.  When we came upon these marks if we found a mark following that we would be on the long run, if we didn’t want to do this we were to wait for the hares who would show the shorts the correct way.  On we started thru the streets of Dunkeswell before reaching the public footpaths and fields, by this time the rain had ceased and blue sky was spotted.  The main theme of today’s run was water, mud & shiggy, small rivers running down thru fields, mud & shiggy just about everywhere else.  We were warned about the bog from hell but even before we reached that, a killer bog claimed the life – well the knees anyway – of Swinger and Leg Over who were desperately trying not to leave their trainers behind deep in the shiggy.  We had a few hashers disappearing for sometime during the run, firstly That’s Crap& She’s Ready and recently married Hot Lips was seen disappearing off with a virgin A2Ber along a different path despite shouts of on-on coming from the main pack.  At the first beer stop Double D admitted it was easier to keep the kids quiet now they’ve got their tablets – no they weren’t being dosed up but had found a new game whereby they take photos of each other and then dress them up with make up and new hair styles.
     
    On the longs there were displays of spectacular recoveries from falls when Looser/Loose Screw tripped, did a controlled roll and were upright and running again without even missing a stride.  Some hashers were joined in the fields by cows whilst others came face to face with a couple of Dobermans when they went down a wrong path.  Countageous came a bit too close to a gorse bush when she popped behind one for a pee.
     
    As the hash was laid for the longs, the shorts were kept together, when they came to a check with a dot they had to wait for the hare to direct them, this worked fine until a few of the long runners decided to change and do the short and there were no marks for them to follow. 
     
    Almost at the end Bilko & Countageous ran up and down the main street of Honiton 3 times before they found the pub – can’t believe those 2 would have had trouble in finding a pub, perhaps that was also the reason why She’s Ready was not back in the pub till the down downs had started – no definitely not, she has a nose like a bloodhound where pubs are concerned.                            
     
    The nominations were:
     
    Double D – for fondling Sore Point’s bum bag
     
    Belto – works for the met office and said it would be dry by 1pm – and it was!!
    Gym Slip – loves his new lightweight, fast, carbon road bike far too much
    Becky – for running the last leg with can of cider in her hand – then nominated Adrian to drink her down down
    Shes Ready – paid brother in law with a lovely homemade cake for doing her car, whilst That’s Crap had to cough up the cash but only got a thank you with some out of date doughnuts.
    We had a naming tonight - Andy who doesn’t really like shiggy and spent most of the trail tiptoeing around it (was that possible?) was called  Shiggypuff 
    Next month’s trail 5 Dec – Normandy Way, St Budeaux, Plymouth c/o Gym Slip (with his beloved bike?) & Leg Over.
    On-On
     
    THE WORDS                               
    Run 101 Joneys Cross - Hare Swinger 

    Never having read the words of an a2b thanks Man pig for volunteering ?!! me and Hot Lips your time will come!
     
      Already circled Man Pig began by introducing 4 newbys-Tenzing,Brushoff and Haggis,all from Bridgewater hash and Grasshopper from Otter Valley.Hare,Swinger (on her virgin lay for A2B) told us the shorts would be 12miles ish the longs 15 miles ish and an extra 2 for the brave or stupid depending on which way you were inclined to look at it.At this point Cathusalem ,stepped forward and reminded hashers ,in his founder member way, there should be a cut off point of 12 mile for the longs.
     
      Setting off we criss -crossed Woodbury Common following the East Devon Trail for a short while.Sore Point was complaining about the pain in her bum(surely not Paper Work,who had been spied immerging out of the bushes earlier!)saying if she lay one way in bed it was fine but not the other.
     
      The weather couldn't have been better and the views were stunning.Some 3.69 miles in the shorts arrived at the beer stop at Castle View car park .Brilliantly timed by Swinger the longs arrived shortly after.Dobby and Sore Point did their ham string exercises.Man Pig got dragged in by Kura and Fah So (or is it the other way round SoFah) legs had been shredded by the gorse.No red dress runs for u 
     
     Leaving Larks to clear up we ran on. The shorts had been told their trail would be shorter but harder this we all promptly forgot.Ahead of us we could see the Marines out on manoeuvres and it was noticeable that the harrietts picked up their step! Sore Point and Cuntagous (not sure of spelling ) were discussing the marines not realising another group were beside them.Moving away from the attractions of Woodbury Common we headed on following farmland footpaths and passing  head high fields of maize.Passing a field full of horses we were told that beyond this was Sir Walter Raleighs ' house .(The present owner non to keen on the tourist).Following the road we passed the statue of Sir Walter Raleigh  and into East Budleigh
     
       2nd beer stop here in this sleepy village .I'm sure neighbour hood watch had a field day as Larks 3d Chipmonk and Runner Bean set up an array of sweeties and drinks A special thanks to the girls for their home made flapjack and granola cake very yummie.The girls had obviously got bored whilst we waited for Big Foot,Brush off, Shortie and Hole In One as they decided they would repeatedly press the horn on their car.Dad 3d non to impressed sent them off to the playing field.Eventually Big Foot and Brushoff appeared .They'd done an extra mile or so after talking to orienteers and looking at a map .Shortie and Hole In One had gone wrong on the common
     
      Away we went  not knowing what was before us AND just as well.On to Ladram Bay pass Little Peak and up Peak Hill and all the while Swinger was saying sorry guys and finally into Sidmouth..People were on the beach and in the sea enjoying this lovely October day.
     
      Legs creaking we changed and went off to the pub.
     
    R.A.-Cuntagous  began by thanking Swinger for the trail,and the following were mentioned
     
    Paperwork -poo in the woods
     
    Cathusalem-got lost from bus to car park
     
    Sore Point /Cuntagous-where are the marines? behind you was the reply
     
    Man Pig -was asked why he was jingling and clinking whilst he ran did he have money in his pockets ? no he said it was his bollocks!
     
    Big Foot/Brushoff -lost on trail
     
    Chipmonk /Runner Bean -beeping horn
     
    as some hashers had left to catch the bus down downs were awarded to
     
    Cathusalem,Chipmonk,Runner Bean,Paperwork,Sore Point and Swinger for the above misdomeaners
     
     
     
        on on rise n shine xx
     
    so lovely to see Cathusalem  back  in the country(  and he carried his flower all the way round x) 
     
     
    Hash No 100
    Devon A2B  Away Weekend 04/09/15 – 06/09/15, Yenworthy  Lodge, Oare, Lynton 
    Friday 4th September- Warm Up Trail
    Hares- Thats Crap, Shes Ready, GHR & Come Tonite
     
    By 5.30pm most hashers that were stopping for the whole weekend had arrived and settled in to their dorms. Shortie and Bigfoot were to arrive later after just getting back from America that morning (there’s commitment for you).
    6pm and we circled up for what was advised as a warm up hash and an idea of what was to come the following day. We were told by Thats crap that tea was going to be ready for 7.30 and we needed to get back in time for eating, we had the option if we were quick enough that a pub option had been included on this trail but dinner was going to be ready for 7.30 and we needed to get back, as soon as the pub was mentioned everyone was eager to set off.
    We left the lodge heading up the driveway then turning left back down the side of the building, heading right up into the fields, running along with the sea and South Wales in our sights up and down the hills, everyone admiring the views as we went along.
    Further along a track the hares realised that we were dropping behind schedule so She’s Ready suggested that she took the shorts and walkers on a short cut back to the lodge, those runners wanting to head to the pub for one carried along the trail only to find That’s Crap standing at the sign for the pub informing us that the pub was closed, so we trundled head between our legs up the first steep hill of the weekend. Arriving back just in time for our tea.
    Shorts 3 milesLongs 4 miles 

    After chilli and rice and a delicious apple crumble with custard we headed into the class room for a game of “Hare Raiser” (a variant of Beetle Drive) which Captain Peacock won by 1 point to Retread.
    On completion of this game some of the men continued their competitive streak with some rather loud games of table football. 
     
    Saturday 5th September – Hash #100
    Hares - Thats Crap, Shes Ready, GHR & Come Tonite
    The morning after the night before and the 100th A2B circled up at 11am rather than the usual 12.30 still leaving time for those who were joining us that morning, Mcfee, who had been celebrating her birthday the night before, Alice, Strapo and Swampy who were stopping for the remainder of the weekend and Dimwit joining us just for the day.  
    Nominated RA’s were Captain Peacock and Whisperer, Scribe Double D (thanks to Hotlips!).
    We circled up in the same place as the previous night, in the car park of the lodge where That’s Crap advised that the trail was laid in flour and if we had come across any sawdust from the night before make sure we didn’t follow it, 2 dots and on, 3 beer stops and long/short splits available at each section. It would also become apparent later on that after the 1st beer stop if you were on the longs you had chance of even more beer stops.
    The shorts had gone straight up the driveway of the lodge to take us on the reverse loop of the night before and the longs heading down the drive to head straight back up again. On the 2nd long/short split the hares could be heard arguing over who was going to follow the longs, funnily enough none of them were too keen and looked for excuses to stay with the shorts. This saw the longs head up and along a hill, to then come back down with the shorts again fighting their way through gorse and fern.
    The last long /short split saw the longs head up the steepest incline at the point to what seemed miles from the shorts who followed through the valley to meet back up with the longs and the beer stop just 1 mile from our starting point, County Gate Car Park.
    Down Downs awarded:
    Awards:
    Hare of the Year: Bigfoot
    Hasher of the Year: She’s Ready
    Scribe of the Year: Double D
    Pillock of the Year: That’s Crap
    AGM
    HASH NO:  99 – 1 Aug 2015                                
     
    VENUE:  Haldon Hash HQ, Denbury         
     
    HARES: Big Foot, Shortie, Mc Fee, Rise'n'shine                            
    Well our first challenge was to navigate the narrow gate opening into the field where we were parking.  That’s Crap relied on the eyes and voice of Big Foot as he carefully reversed his new motorhome between the granite gate posts – not a good idea as Big Foot wasn’t wearing his glasses.  Vomit quickly threw into his car his small tent just before leaving home, thing was his daughter was the last to use it at some music event so whether there were enough or even any tent poles he would find out when he came to put it up later on that evening.
    Gathering round the circle Big Foot told us there were 3 beer stops, it was about 9 & 12 and plenty of opportunity for short or long cuts, there would also be a couple of regroups.  A2B virgin Duckie aided by HIV volunteered to do the beer stops, That’s Crap was RA and Bilko nominated to do the words.  With that we set off, immediately the longs and shorts split up with only 4 hashers doing the short.  When we finally reached the first beer stop after at least 5 miles, the short runners discovered their good move, those long runners who were wearing shorts were covered in blood on their legs – namely Gym Slip & Vomit – and they were due to be modelling for men’s tights next week!!  Mc Fee was already worn out and took a tumble going too fast downhill.  The hares then encouraged us all to do the next short. They also told us that when we came to the next BS mark we were to ignore it as there would be no beer there.
    The next RG was conveniently placed within sight of a pub so Gymslip, That’s Crap, Whisperer, Bump & Grind, She’s Ready & Vomit decided that a 4th beer stop was well in order.  A birthday cake was on offer at the next beer stop for 3D who was enjoying? his last run before officially being ‘over the hill’.  We all eventually walked, crawled, staggered back to the end just as Big Foot saunters up in his car – he had been showing off his sprouts and polishing his pots all day.
    Back in the club house the nominations were:
    Big Foot – for telling us it was a 8&12 mile hash, he carefully measures his trails with a special bit of string so that his 8&12 ends up as 13&19, we reckon it’s elastic.
    Shortie – just as guilty as Big Foot, which is why she kept encouraging us to do the shorts.
    Mc Fee – for her dramatic fall
    Duckie – was able to use his new first aid kit to administer aid to Moonflower’s thigh.
    Gym Slip – not happy with the contents of the beer stop, decided to knock it all onto the floor.
    Big Foot (2) – too busy at the show with his veg getting prizes to worry about us doggedly trying to finish his trail.


    We had a naming – Suzanne who was quite happy to have a harsh name - whilst on the run demolished part of a stone wall to prop open a gate – suggestions of Demolition Dyke, Stone-faced bitch were provided but we all decided upon Gatecrasher.
    https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TuQ9n2c1mAY/VchnHnqUizI/AAAAAAAAB60/zvPVNZM6UuQ/s320/A2B99.jpg
    How much gear can you get into one XTrail – all these bags, folding table, 3 eskys, rubbish bag and 3 people!!! 
    Don’t forget 5 Sept 100th birthday run starts at 11am


    On On
    Bilko

    Hash #98 Churston Ferrers Grammer School

    Hares- Cow Pat & Meavy Maid
    Support car- Jailer & Troughy
    Beer masters- Chipmunk, Runnerbean & Double D


    A beautiful sunny Independence day brought a large number of hashers out, some dressed for the occassion with Gymslip sporting what I think was a waistcoat with the American flag and Legover the matching skirt, Sorepoint and Paperwork wearing complete matching outfits in the colour of the American flag and Coldfront with a painted face (how it managed to stay on until the end I will never know).


    Before the hares told the group about the trail two A2B vigins were introduced- Dim Wit & Flage-no-lay. The hares then ran through details of what was promised to be a PRETTY long hash and they werent wrong on either account.


    The hares informed the raring pack that they were 3 long/short splits and would be approximately 8/9 miles for all the shorts and the longs distance was not confirmed. The first long/short split was explained as a pretty long long and short was a pretty long short.


    The shorts arrived at the first beer stop which was kindly hosted at Hew n Cry and Rabbids house. It could not be missed as Chipmunk and Runnerbean were shouting out to the hashers they had reached the beer stop. The shorts had already clocked up at this point about 6miles. Twenty minutes later the longs arrived. They had taken a trip to berryhead and been caving.


    Prior to the regroup  a couple of people had be asked by NORMAL people why they were wearing red, white and ,blue. Some one should have told them to pay attention in history class or looked at a calendar.
    Some took refuge in the shade while Bilko stripped off and got her baps out!


    Off they plodding after devouring all the water, a quick refill at the house then off to the second beer stop.


    The first ones back to this one was Flage no lay and 3d who opted for a lift for the last mile. They were soon followed by the remaining Hasher's to finish off all the goodies. I was starting to worry that Chipmunk and Runnerbean would have been extremely disappointed at this point as I had promised they could have treats at the end once all Hasher's had gone. Little did I know until the down downs that they had been nipping in behind my back and filling up. No wonder there was nothing left at the end.


    The final leg took them back to the pub, just a mile down the road from where they had started. Down downs were awarded to the following...


    Hares Cow Pat & Meavy maid
    Troughy for drinking Gymslips pint
    Flang no lay and dim wit for carrying their bag with them on the hash
    Rear ended for slipping not only hurting her wrist but getting stung on her bum by stinging nettle
    Whisper saying he is too fast but always at the back after a check
    Bigfoot something about red bull energy drink being made of bulls urine
    Runnerbean and Chipmunk for stealing sweets behind my back and then asking for sweets and finally me Double d for not noticing my children's actions.


    Great hash


    On on to the next a2b McFee, Bigfoot, Shortie and Rise n shine


    Scoots barn- Byo BBQ and Byo beer
    Camping also available


    Directions- head to Denbury centre, there is a monument in the centre head on east street about 200/300 yards there is a fork in the road on the left star cross. Past the barn on the right to the field on the right.


    I have been told by rise n shine that she will try to  place signs up to follow.


    Also remember to get your forms and money in for the away weekend. 1st weekend in September to celebrate #100.




    Words Devon A2B Hash - Dartmeet  11/04/15
     Hare - Hole in One
     A fabulous day saw a good turnout of Hashers and Harriets to a beautiful location, thanks to Hole in One.  After Sore Point ably stood in as GM (TC's nursing  his knee following surgery, or is that She's Ready doing the nursing?), victimized Mouthful as RA, Legover as Scribe and welcomed Virgins Susannah, Minxy and Smellie, off we went to the first and only Long/Short split. 
    Being the lazy ones Yeuck, Fallen Woman, Legover, Scouting 4 Boys, Madam Cyn and Cuntagious all set off on the short only to be called back as we were informed it was far too short for the likes of these amazing athletes.  Yeuck and Fallen Woman ignored this advice and carried on until a lack of visible marks forced them to turn around and follow the pack. 
    Meanwhile the front runners nimbly hopped over the stepping stones above the deep and fast flowing Dart leaving them perilously slippery for the less agile amongst us.  Or was that just Smellie?  By the time Scouting 4 Boys, Legover, Cuntagious and Madam Cyn finished a re-enactment of a Benny Hill sketch (Queue for river crossing, give up, run back down road over bridge, realise bridge over wrong river (clue is in name ladies, ie DartMEET), run back up road and back to river to be back at same point in queue) Smellie was still in the same place.  Frozen with terror by the beautiful clean water flowing beneath her she finally gave up and adopted the backside approach to river crossing to a full round of applause from those behind her. 
    This was not the end of the river tales as Fallen Woman lived up to her name not once but twice sampling the swimming delights at the stepping stones of doom.  Double D and Lilo were also casualties as they wanted to join in the fun at the stones and both prefer to be wet. 
    Finally moving more that a 100m from the start, the river casualties finally caught up to the pack who were wandering around aimlessly (allegedly checking/looking) on the moor and leading the more gullible astray along unmarked territory until the Hare finally took pity and gave us a flour arrow.  This turned out to be quite a theme for the whole run as heavy rain overnight put paid to most of the trail. 
    This led us to a re-group at a local beauty spot where worryingly Sore Point (Hash Cash)  was heard to admit she couldn't count as the Hashers wouldn't stay still long enough.  On to the first beer stop but not before most of the male hashers spent some time admiring the gazelle like running style of virgin Suzannah who was coerced into joining us when spotted doing the same at Februarys freezing A2B.  Those not gazing at this feat of fitness were busy admiring the shortest of shorts sported by virgin Minxy. 
    As always the beer stop was a welcome sight and the wonderful Larks Vomit did us proud.  The guys all formed a disorderly queue to have the honour of accepting a drink from Virgin Suzannah.  After more chatting up of the Virgins (guys - you know who you are) we set off again and sadly spent a large part of the rest of the trail on the road with beautiful moorland all around us.  This didn't stop Madam Cyn managing to take a flying fall on the small section of bridle path we did find, but luckily hubby Catflap was on hand with his very own back pack full of who knows what to nurse her back to health. 
    Paperwork meanwhile undertook a check and found no marks which caused a great deal of searching around and leading astray by the usual FRBs Gymslip, Vomit, Woggle, Gaffer etc while the rest of us enjoyed the rest and the sunshine.  This was finally resolved by Holey after much consulting of her map and off we went again exactly where Paperwork said not - time for a trip to the opticians perhaps? 
    Next obstacle were the cows.  We had been warned by the hare at the start that there were a group of bullocks who were organised and dangerous.  There they were - dozing peacefully beside the road.  This didn't stop the harriets all clinging onto each other whispering instructions to go slow, no go fast, stay quiet, no shout at them by which time the bullocks were again getting organised and shuffling along the road in our wake. Terrifying!  Well Cuntagious thought so anyway. 
    Next Beer Stop was with a very convenient gorse bush for Harriet use.  This was not good enough for She's Ready who had already taken advantage of some very nice cafe loos we happened to pass earlier.  Minxy asked for a can of cider, offered it around and poured half into Scouting 4 Boys' cup and then continued to offer it around and wondered why she had none left to drink. 
    Enter the Dragon  (where was FU?) was shocked to find her driver Hotlips was so blind that he couldn't even see the Hashers in all their colourful glory running down the road in front of their car. 
    Finally around 10 miles later we arrived at B - Postbridge.
    In the Pub follicularly challenged Paperwork and Vomit were making up for their lack of hair by sporting bandeaus with hair attached. In his disguise Vomit approached Cuntagious for a sideways snog and much to Vomit's surprise she was happy to swap tongues before checking to see who she was snogging. 
    Nominations included
    Zeppelin for such lovely white hair
    Minxy for sitting down just 50yds from start
    Smellie for being first refuser it being Grand National day
    Hole in One for falling over while looking at the cows and also seen mooning at No Entry
    FRBS for generally leading everyone astray
    Lilo, Fallen Woman and Double D for being swimmers
    Down Downs were awarded to
    Hole in One
    Smellie
    Double D
    ON ON to May
    Words for Devon A2B No92 January 2015
     
      Who needs words when we've got Rambo's colourful depiction of the event.  Anyway I stuck my hand up to do the words so I don't have to do it again for years!
     
      We (me and Fallen Woman) arrived at the Buckfastleigh station car park to a sea of cars and not a soul in sight …. 'they're in the cafe' someone said through a slit of open window.  Sure enough just inside the cafe a couple of groups of hashers stood nattering away until we couldn't put the inevitable off any longer.
     
      We trooped back over the footbridge to be called to order by Thats Crap in a most commanding voice. It seems ManPig has pushed off to sunnier climes and TC is standing in as GM …. any objections?  Well if looks could kill, no one had the nerve to object and  it was absolutely fine with all 28 of us.
     
      There were a few hares knocking about but the leader Hole-In-One gave the spiel.... 10.8 for Longs, 8.5 for Shorts and something for everyone …. shiggy,hills,sheep and in case we were starting to slow up we were to run through a shoot to speed us up.  No bags needed, just £4 in yer pocket so once luggage had been stowed back in cars we were off.
     
      On-on through the station, up the road and over the A38 until we hit the vertical bridlepath. Well that sorted out the triathletes from the hashers, with no breath left for talking  until we reached Five Ways.  Took us ages to find the trail down to Pridhamsleigh and the next uphill bridlepath dodging flailing brambles.  Woggle came off worse with lacerations to the front of his already minimal shorts so much so that when he stopped for a pee he sprinkled as he tinkled!
     
     On-on to beerstop;  PaperWork and other strange types did the  usual running backwards away from the BS before reappearing  for refreshment ably produced by LarksVomit. Lovely spot by a des res (see Rambo's pics) with talk of Grizzly amongst the moans of aches and crakes.  Hole-In-One was in touch with command control of the shoot to get the firing squad lined up ready … seems only the Longs were to experience this … perhaps the Shorts were deemed too easy prey being a bit slower (the reason might be blamed on excessive Christmas fayre).  Mind you they must have got a wiggle on coz they had left the next BS before the provisions arrived.
     
      Hare No2 (named Number2) was having trouble with her directions from this point on and I'm not sure I saw honorary hare Zen for most of the day.  Somehow we all traversed the land that is Riverford and reached  the picturesque Staverton railway station. The arrivals board informed us this was PointB and we parted with our £4 to the station master. General milling about ensued til the train showed up ….( great bit of logistical planning by Hole-In-One).  Contagious,  LegOver and friend  ran along the platform to enhance Rambo's shots of incoming steam engine.
     
      All aboard the train we trotted through the buffet to an comfy empty  carriage and  enjoyed the ride back to Buckfastleigh watching the swollen River Dart rushing by. Alighting at Bucks the guard eyed up these mud-splattered creatures and was heard to mutter about making a mess of his train …. so we legged it back to the car park for a swift change of clothes.
     
       Out in the freezing cold we formed the Circle. Fallen Woman was the RA of the day all togged up in her glad rags and lippy.  No1 hare had a party to whizz of to so she was given a Down down ( in the absence of No2 & Zen who'd already disappeared to see a man about a horse).
       Drinks were also awarded to
      Woggle for prickly problem,
       Rambo for running around nearly naked,
       Gymslip for mega-moaning (worse than Piddler ... SH4's yardstick for moaning),
       PaperWork, WoofWoof and MeavyMaid for running against the flow when approaching beer stops
        LarksVomit for sterling work,tangling with tractors etc to make the beer stops happen.
     
      On-on to On Down which was Abbey Inn for a dwindling crowd.  The roaring log fire was immediately taken over by cool harriettes and that's about it til next time.
     
    Meavymaid